Celebrating Personal Achievements

Herd mentality comes from social engineering, which comes from thousands of years of conditioning and evolution, which is a consequence of our need to survive. But it goes against the attributes in our DNA, that stuff we're told predetermines, actually hard codes, who we are. Just like you cannot change your height, or your skin colour, or how your face looks your DNA is responsible for not only physical attributes, but also abilities and, they say, emotions and thoughts.

The Desiderata says, If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. The lesson here is that abilities are individual. I think that these instruction in The Desiderata are subtly powerful. Achievement is getting something done successfully. It could also mean recognition for the thing done. But there's a hint of comparison, which is to achieve compared to what?

And here's where we listen closely to The Desiderata. Because the normal thing is to compare yourself with others, and say, I have achieved based on my comparison to this person's achievement. Or that person's achievement. Even when the thing you are trying to accomplish bears no resemblance in terms of comparison to the person who you are comparing your achievement with.

Here's a simple example.

Pay and salary. This is one ruler, standard, used to measure achievement. If I make a certain amount of money, then I have achieved, succeeded. If I don't then I have inevitably failed.

Another one might be the acquisition of stuff. The more stuff you have, the more you can say that you have achieved. In Kenya we can say, I have arrived!

This sense that we need to continue to accumulate and gain and gather and move forward and compete and slash and burn all opposition may be partly genetic. Our brains tell us that we need to forage for food so that we can survive. And that having more food than the other person makes us stronger than the other person so that we can survive longer than they can, if a contest for survival were to happen. Also having more food, keeping it and not sharing it, means that should a famine happen, then we are likely to survive longer. Better still, if the other person has food, then taking that food away from them means more food for us, which is also better for survival. So taking stuff away from others is also part of personal achievement. If you see something that someone else has, then you want it. And in today's world, this is not limited to food, it's clothing, cars, jewelry, wealth and their spouse.

ENOUGH

In order to be emotionally happy, we must then acquire a notion of having enough. That notion of enough must be a personal one that dares only look inside, and not compare with others. It may look something like this:

• Today I wrote an essay, a couple of pages long, it may not make it to the New York Times bestseller list, but I'm happy with it.
• Today I did a 30 minute walking exercise, I feel great.
• Today I sat quietly for 30 minutes, uninterrupted, without a problem and I'm glad to have time to sit and think this way, it is a gift.

HALF FULL

But that's not the case most of the time. We're most likely to see the half empty part of the glass, not the half full, because it's the half empty part that's most likely to get us killed.

Going back to the prehistory you, who needed to be right 100% of the time in order not to die. That one time you mistake a sabre toothed tiger for a rock is the last time you do that. It does not matter the hundred times you were right. It takes just one.

And that's why negative thoughts are that much more powerful than positive ones. Negative thoughts make you grow more than positive ones. They say that's the same with exercise. Your muscles grow when you over stress them. You need to get to that point of pain in order for the exercise to work. And it's not comfortable.

It is nearly impossible to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, since the negative ones are triggered externally. Mostly triggered externally and that (I believe) is why most meditation practices focus on going inside. Focusing on something simple, like the breath, and trying to cut out external thoughts. But the babble is overwhelming and cannot be shut off, and so when it happens, and you recognize that it has happened, then you can recenter an refocus yourself.

The half full babble sounds something like this:

• Oh crap, I still haven't done my taxes, I'm so lazy.
• This project is boring, it's taking so long why did I even start it.
• I hate my boss, I wish I could find a better job.
• I don't have enough money, I have to get another job so my kids don't suffer.
• I know something's wrong, just can't put my finger on it, but I feel it.

And on and on and on it goes. Never stopping. Never ending.

PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

Are just that. They are yours and they are very difficult to share. And even when they can be shared you may notice that they mean very little to the people that you are sharing them with. You may think they're great, absolutely awesome and fabulous, but your audience may think otherwise. That may lead to a letdown.

But letdown's shouldn't stop you from sharing, and even if you don't get the response that you are looking for, at least you can bask in the achievement all by yourself. 

I'm a lifelong learner. I read voraciously, and I spend my time writing code. Not that I am selling software, there are much brighter and smarter people who can do better work, but I write code to understand and learn more. I ask myself, how does two-factor, or multi-factor authentication work? And then I write Python/Flask programs to see it in action. And I'm pleased with the work. And I revel in it. And I bask. And nobody knows.

But I do rush out to my Python blog and write about it, and that makes me happy. And recently, I've taken to YouTube to do more preaching. The viewers are low, the subscribers tiny, but it's more about the journey it took to prepare the product. It's like Les Brown once said, if you really want to speak and be a public speaker, but nobody will hire you or listen to you, then speak to your plants. If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? Ridiculous, but it symbolizes the ineffectiveness of unheard of opinions or thoughts. I don't like the term ineffective, because surely, there's an effect somewhere. It's almost like when in a debate, your opposition says something like, "well, I've never heard that." As though that was a point for it's non-existence.

I don't think people celebrate quietly enough. Alone. Personally. Introspectively. And smile inside. And congratulate self. And be self aware and self proud.

Of that, there should be much, much more of.