Stoic Joy - Review 5 of 5

In this last section I'll tackle a whole bunch of things. These are very practical issues in Stoicism. So far we've discussed the goals, lofty they may seem, of Stoicism. The pursuit of tranquility. In this, we've discussed negative visualisation as a practical means of enjoying the present moment and being content with what you have. We've also discussed the past and the future. That their impact on the present moment should be advisory, and not the main focus. That presentation that you gave to the board of directors that bombed is in the past. There's nothing you can do about it now, you could give a few people a call to see if you can salvage your job, but the presentation's done and that's it. That job interview you're going to tomorrow will happen in due time. You can prepare for it now, but since you're not in charge of the interview, you don't know how it's going to go. You'll just have to do your best today, be satisfied with your preparation and show up. It could go well, it could go badly, but that's not something you have control over. Right now you have control over your preparation. And then the issue of control. The one thing that we truly have control over is ourselves. Not over the weather, or the attitudes of others, or if the car will start in the morning (though that's debatable), but we have definite control over if we should watch television right now, or sit and read. Of course, should the house crash around us, that decision is still ours, but it would be wise to get out of the way.

So in this section, a few things to think about.

Firstly, abstinence and self denial. We may have touched on this, but the Stoics thought that the act of self denial, causing yourself temporary discomfort, was a way to enjoying what you had. If you walk outside in the cold, with just a shirt on, you'll better enjoy the warmth once you're inside. If you practise not eating, you'll enjoy the taste of a piece of dry bread. Denying yourself certain comforts with the aim of better enjoying what you have in the present moment. The things that are in front of you. If you can enjoy what you have, then the frustration of waiting to get those things you don't have doesn't come into play. Because you're already there. Unfortunately, life is full of waiting for the thing that's going to make us happy to appear. Even when we're in the moment of pleasure, some sense of its imminent end makes it not so enjoyable. And once it's over, we set upon finding it again, waiting again. So the periods of self denial, where you put yourself in that place where you're not so comfortable, to experience discomfort, not to the extent of masochism, but obvious unease, those events allow you to better enjoy the things you have in front of you.

Secondly, meditation. Every religion has this in some form or another. Is it natural for humans to meditate? Do we need that quiet time to reflect, to pause and think about what we're doing, where we've come and where we're going? Seems like that is one of the stepping stones to achieving spirituality because introspection is demanded by almost every religion. The Stoics, Seneca especially, advise you to think and meditate on your life. What you did that day, if you could have lived it differently, not to dwell on it, but to learn from it. Meditation on the steps you're taking towards Stoicism will encourage you to do better and to live a better life. I can't agree with this more. Meditation demands quiet. It also demands solitude, both things that are very important in tranquility. I've discovered that even listening to television, for a single hour, is draining. The constant din of the television makes me very tired. If there's music in the background, I prefer something very light and soothing like jazz. Sometimes though the music can get annoying. The quiet reflection requires that you remove all sensory input so that you can concentrate on thinking. No noise, no smells, perhaps even close your eyes so that you're not distracted by that spot on the wall, or that book on the bookshelf that you've been contemplating re-reading. Or that computer that's urging you to type an email. But the act of meditation takes on a different meaning for different people. In my case, I find myself able to think better when I write. Paper and pen, not type. When I write, I slow down. When I slow down, I can concentrate on a single thing and not bounce from activity to activity. When I write about an incident that incensed me, I'm forced to think word for word, what I actually mean by incensed. And by writing it down, I can debate it with myself, slowly. Debate why I felt that way and what happened. Seneca especially gives some examples of how he reacted when criticised, snubbed, ridiculed and so on. Very human in the reaction, but we can see from his writings that he strove to come to sense with what was going on and try to heal himself. For example, when criticised, he would wonder if he deserved the criticism, and if so why he'd reacted negatively. He'd also wonder if the reaction to the criticism was because it was public, and so he wouldn't be appreciated by others who'd hear the criticism, or if the source of the criticism was someone who didn't understand the material, or even from a higher authority, who should know better, or from a know-it-all, who liked to ridicule in any case. All these things were considered to find an alternative method to dealing with the feeling. Not the actual criticism, because that's out of his control, but the emotions that would arise from hearing the criticism. It's hard to say that you shouldn't feel anything. But Seneca does advise that we should think of the feeling and ask ourselves if we're being governed by our reasoning or our feelings. Are we acting reasonably, or childishly. It's hard not to have an emotional context. That if someone calls you an idiot, you should walk away. The Christian bible talks about turning the other cheek. That's very difficult and Stoicism doesn't demand that you take abuse. But when humiliated, there are techniques, and we'll discuss one of them, that you can use to counter the criticism, especially when it's personal, and take it in stride. Therefore meditate, possibly daily, take some time out to reflect. If possible many times during the day, take a few minutes to stop, to pause and to contemplate where you are, what you're doing and whether or not you're doing the right thing and moving in the right direction.

Next dealing with people. One of the most contradictory things I have found in reading William Irving's book is the discovery that even though Marcus Aurelius was an emperor, he had issues dealing with people. It almost looked like he didn't like dealing with people, that he thought of his close advisors as idiots and that he was well aware of the backstabbing and talking that people were doing behind his back. Yet he could have dealt with it by throwing them all to the lions and proceeding to surround himself with people who would talk nicely of him and not criticise him. Typical to Stoic thinking, Marcus advises us to put those trying, annoying incidents into context. When put into cosmic context, the fact that one day we will die, they then seem to fade, in fact disappear. What does it matter when someone calls you an idiot when you know that one day, he'll be dead, you'll be dead and this instance of time will be lost, to you and to those sitting around now, hearing the insult. The Christian bible talks about putting out anger with a kind word. The Stoics don't think so. When faced with insulting people, the Stoics turn to humour. This is fabulous, in fact the advice given here is almost priceless. What they're attempting to do is douse anger. That feeling of hating them, or seeking revenge. And the only way is not to be like them. To refuse to be like them and to become an individual, with charity towards everyone, because that's what you are, is the best form of defence. For the most part, people who insult you are overgrown children, at least according to Seneca. Like a mother won't be upset if her child insults her, we shouldn't be upset if these overgrown children upset us. Some people are upsetting because they really believe in what they're saying. They honestly think that they're better than anyone else and they're approaching this from a position of absolute certainty. There's not much you can do about those attitudes, especially from people in positions of power. However, your attitude towards them can be tempered. Say, for example, your boss tells you that your work is sloppy and that you need to focus more on what you should be doing. Perhaps you were working as hard as you could and even though you say so, they still think that you've been slacking off. You can get angry, and that's one way to deal with this type of insult. Alternatively, you can proceed with the fact that this person doesn't know what you know. They have no knowledge of what you've been doing, how hard you've been working and why the results came out the way they did. They, not you, are the idiot. If your job in jeopardy, your alternatives are still quite good. Perhaps working for this person in the long run isn't such a good idea. Perhaps you can later convince them that your work is good. Whether you keep the job or leave, or are terminated, you will discover that your feelings towards the insult aren't negative. Two final pieces of advice when faced with insults. The first, is to respond with humour. Seneca gives an example when Cato was spat on by his adversary Lentulus he calmly wiped off the spit and said, "I will swear to anyone, Lentulus, that people are wrong when they say you cannot use your mouth!" The problem, Irving says, is that most of the time when you're insulted, you lose your presence of mind. You're dumfounded and thinking quickly on your feet isn't something that might be natural. I think that replying with humour is almost like insulting the person back. It's almost like going down to their level. Especially that statement by Cato. The alternative, and a solution from Musonius, is to say nothing. No response but to quietly bear what has happened. This seems to me a better alternative, unless it goes to the realm of allowing bullies to get away with insults. There are some people who make it their personal objective to be offensive. In those cases, there should be a way to douse their insults without sitting quietly and bearing the brunt of it. In those cases, diving full force into the insult and challenging it might be instructive. I must admit, I fall into the category of those who aren't so quick to launch back at an insult. I'm more likely to say, "no I'm not!" Later realise that the offender achieved their objective in making me take their criticism seriously, but its too late. Staying quiet sometimes robs the offender of the victory of the insult. On the other hand, if the insult was supposed to silence you, then perhaps the objective was met and they can watch as you stew quietly. The best response is quiet sitting and smiling then. In line with this is the fact that Stoicism advises you to not worry about things that are not in your control. What others think about you is not in your control. And so, you shouldn't worry about what others think of you. Since you cannot make them think any better or less, or since their thinking will change and that is change you cannot control, you shouldn't concern yourself with what they think about you. If you value your freedom, like the Stoics do, then you won't do anything that gives other's power over you. Allowing your happiness to come from the praise of other people is giving them too much power over you and so, the things they say, shouldn't concern you. Of course, you shouldn't be arrogant and ignore good advice. Perhaps the criticism was in good faith and required. Perhaps it was said in a kind tone. But perhaps thinking about the content, not the tone or the speaker, will help you dissect the words coming at you so that you can better decide how to deal with them. One of the worst things we can do when other people annoy us is to get angry.

There's a lot to learn about the philosophy of Stoicism. A lot of good advice on how to live. William Irving's book distills the core ideas of Stoicism in a readable text for those of us who aren't philosophy majors.

Stoic Joy - Review 4 of 5

This is my fourth post in my series of five, of the teachings that I've learned from Stoicism. By no means comprehensive, but my thoughts on the book that I read by William Irving, A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. We've already talked about the technique of Negative Visualisation as a means to help you learn to enjoy the things that you have. We've also discussed abstinence and living simply. Forgoing things and enjoying the basic things that are around you. This goes hand-in-hand with negative visualisation because the visualisation helps you remember that things could be worse, and that you are indeed lucky to have what you have. Living simply adds the notion of exercising your will to forgo those riches in life. Taking the bus when you could be driving. Eating a piece of bread when you could be enjoying a sumptuous steak. And then finally, we also talked about living in the present and not minding the past or the future. Not ignoring them, but knowing that you have absolutely no control over them, and that they are essentially there to help you deal with the present, the here and now.

The purpose of Stoicism is Tranquility. To quote William Irving, "Someone who thinks something is more valuable than tranquility would therefore be foolish to practice Stoicism." It's true that most of the major religions would also claim that this is their purpose, however, the difference is in how it's obtained. How does the Muslim seek tranquility. How does the Christian seek tranquility, or the atheist? The goals might look the same, but the main difference is in how it's obtained. There might also be a difference in opinion. When speaking of tranquility, are the religions talking about the same thing? Stoicism looks at tranquility in a deeply personal, introspective way. Ultimately the goal is for you to have that peace, that tranquility by going through a set of prescribed steps, very defined activities, such as negative visualisation, self-denial of pleasure, of frugal living. Each lesson supposed to allow you to strengthen that appreciation of the things you have, where you are, so that tranquility instead of frustration sets in. You're supposed to feel OK, alright, at peace with the things that are at this moment, not in a rush to be somewhere else, to be on the move to attain your enjoyment somewhere else. You're supposed to find that enjoyment in the present moment.

And so another instrument that Stoicism uses in its goals to achieve tranquility is aimed at the illusion of control. The illusion that we have control over what's around us and that we control our environment. In this respect, the first realisation is that we don't have control over our environment. We don't have control over events. But we have control over ourselves and over our emotions. We have control over how we feel about certain things, but not the existence of those things. We're told that in seeking goals, many people tend to think that they can change their environment. That if they change their environment, say like go on a vacation, then they will be happy. They will then be content. But the Stoics say that this is the wrong approach. That instead, the goal, as difficult as it sounds, is to try and find that happiness in the things that are already in existence around you. Rather than try and change your surroundings, your environment, you should change yourself, or your desires in that attempt to find tranquility. Epictetus further states that there are some things that we have control over, and other things that we have no control over. William Irving goes on to expand this into a trichotomy. There are some things over which we have complete control, some thing over which we have some control, but not complete control, and lastly some things over which we have no control at all.

I prefer the absolutes of Epictetus. Absolute control over whether or not I will enjoy my meal, right now, or if I will eat it grudgingly. Absolute control over if I will smile at my friends, or look morose. Absolute control over whether I should read, watch TV or sleep. Irving gives an excellent example of the instance where you have some control. Whether or not you win a tennis match isn't totally up to you. Where you have control is whether or not you will give it your best. How hard you'll play. Winning or loosing isn't totally in your control. Of course, if you fail to show up at the tennis match, you lose by default, consciously, knowingly. You can also choose to lose. Finally, you have no control over the weather, or if the sun will rise. You have no control over any future events.  You may plan for a successful wedding, you may hire the best people and spend the best money, but that doesn't guarantee that your guests will like it. It doesn't guarantee that there will be a calamity that day that puts it off. However, what you have in your control is that ability to hire the best people, to book the best rooms and to invite your guests. Whether they come or not isn't in your control.

The issue of control is big. It goes to a lot of what we want in life. To be in control seems to be a basic conditioning of western thought. Not just independence, the right to exist and to be free. But the right to manage not just yourself, but to influence those around you. We want control in the west. We drive ourselves based on the control we have over others. The fact that the Stoics say that you should not desire control doesn't mean that they eschew public life. In fact, Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor was a stoic. Yet his writings show that he struggled with some of the basic character flaws, dealing with incompetence, jealousy, backstabbing, deceitfulness and all the complexities of human interaction. Some famous Stoics, such as Seneca, were also financially very well off and lived in public service. Yet their writings show that they didn't let this wealth go to their heads. They struggled also with trying to find tranquility, which goes to show that wealth doesn't translate to happiness, a recurring theme in many religions.

And so the lesson here is that control is an illusion. That the only things we have control over are ourselves. That we should only aspire to those things that we have control over. And since the only things we have control over are ourselves, we should spend more time thinking over, brooding over and spending time with our attitudes and our immediate surroundings. Yes, you can paint that wall. But the result may not make you happy, however, if the action of painting, the work, the journey, makes you happy, then that it what you have control over. There's a Chinese saying, "The journey is the reward."

Stoic Joy - Review 3 of 5

In this third edition of the review of Stoic principles, we discuss fatalism, or the past, the present and the future. It was the Stoics view that you were supposed to live a fatalistic life. That you should live with the view that this could be your last day on the earth. That this could be it. And for that reason, you should live passionately in the moment. In addition to that, you should not dwell on the past neither should you fret about the future. That you should live passionately in the present moment.

If you knew, for sure, that this was your last day on the planet, what would you be doing differently? How about if you knew that this wasn't your last day, but next week, seven days from now, was your last day. How different would today be? Continuing on with that thought, say the last day is a year from now, would you be living any differently, or would you begin to have thoughts that you would condition your behaviour as the time to death drew nearer? Would you have a goal, a plan for life, that you would need to complete?

Since many of us don't know when that end date is, aren't we prone to thinking that we have unlimited time? The thought of death rarely enters our minds, yet it is the one thing that is for certain. It's the one factor in life that's absolutely certain. You will die. One day.

Stoicism therefore teaches you not to dwell on the past. The past is done. What's left of the past are lessons to be learned. You should definitely heed the lessons of the past so as not to repeat them, and you should assimilate the lessons of the past in order to do things better, but you should not live in the past, full of regret. In the same vein, you shouldn't dwell on the future. For the most part, you cannot alter the future. It will come when it does, in it's own time, and you may not even be there to witness it. This shouldn't stop you from planning for the future, saving your money, or booking for that vacation in advance. However, it should stop you from worrying about something that isn't here yet.

It's human nature, so we would like to think, to worry. Say you're going to give a presentation next week, and you're not comfortable in front of crowds. So you're nervous about an event that hasn't taken place yet. You should prepare, for that future event. You should make sure that you spend time today, making plans to succeed, in that future event. But the worry part is difficult to deal with. It's like being on death row, waiting for an execution. You know the date that you're going to be executed. However, the jail warden's still bringing you dinner, still you're reading books and watching TV. Why not take a fatalistic attitude towards all of this? Why not just give up, right now? It's because the present moment, the here and now, this very instant, is the only thing that we truly have control of. In fact, to clarify, it's not the situation that we have control over, it's our attitude towards this moment that we have control over. You can choose to be happy or sad, to be positive or negative, to be kind and consoling or harsh and rude. You can choose how to behave and how to portray yourself in this present moment.

So, the idea of fatalism is this notion that you should imagine that this is the last day, this is the last moment and that it shouldn't drive you to complacency, but rather to a heightened sense of urgency and a passionate life. That your view of the past is that of history teacher and of the future a place that you might not possibly see.

Stoic Joy - Review 2 of 5

The second lesson that I learned from William Irving's book, A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy, was to practise negative visualisation.

That's, right, negative visualisation. This is imagining bad things happening. Imagining loss, imagining your life taking a negative turn. You do this regularly as an exercise to help you strengthen the value you see what you already have.

Human beings are conditioned to want more. Like food for example. Our original conditioning to overeat was so as to store food in our bodies for those times that there might be none. For times of drought. But food is readily available, and when it is, the need for storage isn't real, and secondly the pressure to consume it isn't real. Take for example a poor person, who is starving and in need of food. A stale piece of bread would taste like a royal meal. A glass of water would be like fine wine. However, for a person who's constantly surrounded by bread and water, and therefore has no need of them, their tastes in food become much richer. The food is no longer required as sustenance, but takes on a second meaning. For pleasure. And so the palate graduates to fine meats and rare wines. And because the extra food is not required, its storage requires additional weight to the body.

The Stoics urged for the regular practise of negative visualisation. Not just when you felt like it and saw something bad. You made it a daily practise. William Irving says that he practises it on his way to work, while driving. He writes that it's helped him temper his road rage. He says that he tried picking a time at the end of the day, but that didn't work because of fatigue. But he also says that this is something that you can break our into many segments throughout the day.

Of all the advice from the Stoics this is the strongest and most controversial, but the one that defines how you transition from a philosophy of just thinking, it's all in the mind, to a philosophy of doing, of practising. Going on a diet can be a worthwhile exercise, but doesn't make you a Stoic. Some diets are hard, but some people persist on them, for various reasons. The Stoic is the person who truly enjoys the frugality of the meal.

This negative visualisation also finds a home in your personal life, your relationships. Imagining the loss of loved ones will help you take those extra measures today to appreciate them and show them your love. Not to treat them for granted. Imagining the loss of your sight, your arms or legs, will help you appreciate more how grateful you are that you can see, can touch and hold, craft things with your hands, and that you can walk or run. And even if you're missing one of these senses, imagining the loss of any more will give you that heightened sense of appreciation for the ones you have.

The point of negative visualisation is to help you appreciate the existing life and not to complain about what's missing. It's to help you realise that, indeed, life is richer than you think it is.

I personally find negative visualisation very difficult. I admit that I haven't reached a point where I'm even willing to imagine the loss of my loved ones. At least not visualise it. Imagine a life of solitude without them. I can accept the mental notion of loss, but not the reality of it. But for myself, one thing that I can do, that I can practise is the thought that one day, all of this will be gone.

And that's as far as I'm willing to take negative visualisation for now. That one day, my health will be gone and so I should take the time, right now, to enjoy the body that I have and treat it well. That the problem that I'm currently facing will fade in time, and that there's no point worrying about it. Time will take care of it.

The purpose of negative visualisation is to help you strengthen your appreciation of the things you currently have, to douse that desire to always want more and more and more. Because we're not comfortable with what we have, we always think that getting more will make us happier. That promotion will make me feel better, that new dress will make me look better, that new car will allow me to feel more comfortable, that new house will finally allow me to rest and sit back and I will have now arrived. I can then stop.

But it's that false hope, that by getting more and not being happy with what you have that negative visualisation tries to deal with. And for me, taking stock of what I have, and imagining that things could be worse, that that stuff I currently don't like could go and be replaced with stuff that's much worse, does it for me. My apartment is small, but it could be worse. I don't have a million dollars in the bank, but it could be worse. I miss certain riches and comforts in life, but it could be worse. Things could be much, much worse.

But with that I also leave you with the corollary notion to also count your blessings. In thinking of what could be worse, I also take a look around at the things that I own, the things that I have, and concentrate on appreciating them. The oatmeal breakfast is eaten as though it was the last meal on earth. My children are enjoyed to the fullest. My apartment is greeted and taken care of lovingly. Enjoy each breath and each step I take, knowing how precious it is that I can do this, and that at some time in the future, they will be gone.

Stoic Joy - Review 1 of 5

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy is a book by William Irving in which he describes, for the layman, the philosophy of the Stoics; Stoicism.

It's a very interesting book, well written in a simple language that explains clearly some of the principles of Stoicism. I'm not a trained philosopher in the sense that I don't have a degree from a university, though I can argue that everyone at some level is philosophical, and I haven't gone through the works of the Stoics, but a few of the principles William Irving mentioned resonated with me, and I wanted to summarise them. At least what I think were the main lessons.

They aren't in any particular order, just in the way I remember them.

The first point is being simple in living. Being simple as in having simple needs and letting go of material obsessions. This is one that's touted by many religions as well. Letting go of material things is something that every sane person will agree is a good thing. But the Stoics go a step further. The point of letting go of materialism isn't a process of self-denial. Instead you should be comfortable with the little that you have. Delight in the few things that you have. Keep busy enjoying the basic things. For example, in your diet, you should enjoy eating simple things. Rough oats, dry bread, simple water and not sumptuous meals like braised meats, exotic treats and the like. Eat when you're hungry, and not when you're bored. In today's world, this is difficult to do since our hands are left without things to do so often. But it isn't that difficult. As a runner, I know how enjoyable a slice of bread, even without butter or any spread, is after a run. It tastes wonderful, as does the sip of water. A banana or an apple take on a measure of heightened delight if you eat them because you really need them, not just want them.

The same is with your surroundings, your home, your clothes and so on. The Stoics were known to wear simple robes and often walked barefoot, to exercise their philosophy. The Romans of the time wore rich silk togas and sandals and often were well manicured. How you looked was very important and vanity fuelled the obsession to outdo one's neighbour. This hasn't changed much because today we engage in much the same behaviour. However, from the Stoics point of view, having a simple room, in which you can stay out of the cold, with a simple chair, a table, a few simple things that you can use to contemplate and think on, these are enough.

Granted, the Stoic teachers were not all frugal. Some of them were great leaders, like Marcus Aurelius were leaders. Others achieved great financial success because a great part of Stoicism is geared towards engaging in life and helping your fellow citizen.

But the mental practise should be one of satisfaction. Being comfortable with what you have immediately.

Hamilton marathon

I was going to blog about this race on completion, but I was too depressed to write anything. This was anything but successful. The first time I've bombed completely, unable to run.

I'd registered for the full marathon. That was a few weeks, possibly two or three, before the race. I was confident that I'd trained enough. The weekends were full of 64K runs. A marathon wouldn't be a problem. But a week before the race, my right leg started feeling very sore. Very, very sore.

I thought that it was just fatigue. I'd give it a few days rest before the race, and I'd be OK.

That was daylight saving time weekend and the clocks would be rolling back an hour. It was getting darker and darker in the mornings. On the weekend before the race, I rested. Didn't run on Saturday and didn't run on Sunday. On Monday, I went out for my normal 14K run in the morning. I was tired, not a good run and that took about an hour and a half. Not to worry, the plan that week was to run only twice, resting for five days. I thought that would be enough.

On Wednesday I went out again. I was happier this time because the pain in my knees had gone. No knee pain at all, but my right hamstring was sore.

I rested Thursday, Friday and Saturday. But I knew I couldn't finish a full marathon so I decided to switch to the half. On Saturday, when I drove my rented car to the race expo to pick up my kit, I made the switch. From full to half. That was it. A half, even with pain, would be easily do-able. I was happy and confident that this wouldn't be a problem. I'd rested a few days and even on Saturday felt as if a full marathon wasn't out of the realm of possibilities.

Saturday evening I had a nice dinner of mashed yams with carrots and some baked chicken breast. It was nourishing and the carbs from the yams would take me through the race.

I slept early and slept well and got to the event in great shape, definitely great spirits.

The Hamilton marathon and half marathon starts at a school, Saltfleet high school and runs down to Coronation Park. It's a net downhill race.

I left the house at about 5:45 AM. The plan was to get there for about 6:30, confirm that the race switch had been made, and then take the shuttle busses to the start line. This arrangement was great. There was a lot of parking at Coronation park, and what the race organisers did was shuttle all the runners from the finish, Coronation park, to the start.

At the start area, I was still confident that things were OK for a half.

The full marathon runners started at 8:15 AM and fifteen minutes later, at 8:30 AM, the half marathon horn sounded and we took off. This is the the first race this year that I didn't bring any music with me. Good thing, it would have upset me more when the frustration set in later.

The first 5K were great. Getting the legs moving and settling into my stride. The 1:30 pace bunny quickly disappeared but I was ahead of the 1:40 pace bunny and that's what really mattered. The first few kilometres went by and close to the 7K mark the 1:40 pace bunny caught up with me. I was going much slower than I'd realised and picked it up a notch, staying ahead of her.

The race got easier and more comfortable and even managed a smile. This was good. I was going to finish somewhere inside 1:40 if I just stayed relaxed and in this position. No need to push it right now, I'd save myself for the 18th or 19th K mark.

From about 8K, we started the downhill section. A long steep slope downhill. Not too bad, I relaxed into it and stretched out my stride. Down we went, long easy strides making sure I didn't jar myself too much. At the bottom of the slope, close to the 10K mark, we started uphill. My muscles switched and I was able to engage gears again. The uphill was a good change and I felt strong so I started pushing a bit harder.

All of a sudden, it happened. A snapping pain to the back of my leg, under my right glut. My right leg buckled slightly and I tried to ease off. But the pain returned on the next step even sharper forcing me to wince and come to a slow jog. I could see the water stop up ahead but I was now hobbling on one leg. I jogged to the side and put my leg up on the guardrail and stretched. The 1:40 pace bunny swept by and I felt some anger.

This will go away, I told myself and after a few brief stretches I tried to run again. But no way, the pain was too intense. It was now a sharp pain, even moving the leg, let alone run. So I hobbled along, slowly and painfully, past the water stop, grabbing a cup of water and taking a single sip.

After a few paces, I stopped completely and walked. This was very painful. I walked for a few metres and tried to run again. But my leg wasn't having any of that. More pain, this time even sharper than the initial jolt that stopped me. And so I stopped again and walked.

It continued this way. At some point, I believe it was after the 1:50 pace bunny went by me, I decided that this was the way I was going to complete this race. Walk a few paces, and then hobble a few paces. It wasn't running any longer.

As I got to the finish tunnel, it took all my strength to jog. There were so many people cheering. The 2:07 finish was miraculous, given all that walking. I jogged to the first mat, and then stopped and walked across the finish line.

Disappointed would be putting it very mildly. I was close to tears but I knew that the summer's training had been excessive. Too much running and too much mileage. Not enough strength training, definitely not enough stretching.

You live and learn and this one definitely told me that when the signs are there, it's time to slow down and take notice. Going into that race on Sunday, I felt OK. In fact, I was doing well for the first 10 to 11 K. But when I stressed my leg going up that hill, it finally snapped.

In talking to the massage therapist the following Tuesday, he told me that there was some inflammation in that tendon, it felt stretched, and I'm lucky that it didn't rupture. It could have. I was just lucky.

Summer to Fall - Running

Did a lot of running this past summer. I'm now slightly over 4,500 K in distance run this year, from January. I was hoping to break 5,000 K but I've got this injury in my right leg that's causing a bit of distress, mostly because I'm scheduled for a full marathon in a week!

Let's hope that I can rest it this week and it goes away.

The weather's changed and this is supposed to be perfect running weather. It's cold in the morning when I normally run, close to about 4 degrees Celsius and so the running toque, or hat, and the gloves are mandatory. Here are a few pictures of Eglinton, in the Summer and in the Fall.

Approaching Kipling Ave.

Approaching Kipling Ave. Bike Path.

The pictures above are close to the start of my run, barely 1 K, it's a nice wide bike path and I normally run on the path, not the side-walk.

Approaching Kipling Ave. October

Eglinton/Kipling - Bike Path

Eglinton/Kipling - Bike Path

You can see from the shots above, taken in October, that the leaves are turning beautiful shades of orange, brown and yellow. The sun was still shining and the temperatures were absolutely perfect.

Eglinton Ave - Before Kipling

This is the "tunnel" before slipping into the bike path. You can see the side-walk on the right side next to Eglinton. The shrubbery is still green.

Eglinton Ave - Before Kipling

This is the same spot as the one above, but you can see that the leaves are already falling off the trees. The bike path and side-walk is strewn with them. Made for a nice crunch, crunch, crunch as you're running.

Running in Etobicoke is nice, but not as nice as it was in Mississauga. At least, you have some stretches in Etobicoke where you can disappear from the traffic and get lost in your thoughts. I wonder if I'll take some Winter shots for comparison?

A tribute to Steve Jobs

I knew very little of Steve Jobs. What I'd heard mostly was anecdotal. His temper and expletives at management meetings. He was a no nonsense type of person and put off a lot of his senior staff. Most of this is culled from heresy, not fact.

But now that he's gone, I've learned of a different side of the man. A person who was very bright, almost a genius. A man who battled with death and beat it many times before it finally overcame him. Someone who defied all odds in life, in business and in his influence on popular culture.

I didn't know any of this till he was gone. So many questions still remain, but I now realise that the man, and I, shared a philosophy of life that he lived, and I dream about.

In a seminal commencement speech given to the 2005 graduating class of Stanford University, I learned that he was adopted. His birth parents, too young to take care of him, gave him away at birth. The couple that raised him, who he called his parents, didn't go to college. He himself dropped out after six months, but popped into the more interesting classes.

I learned that he had a love for calligraphy, something that I too love. I love handwriting, I love ink, I love fountain pens and nice paper. I love beautiful script. In that speech, he mentions that this inspired him when it came to designing typefaces for the Mac.

I learned that he was diagnosed with cancer in 2004 and given a few months to live and fought to continue loving and living. He lived for seven more years after that diagnosis, seven years some might argue that were his most creative. In those final years, he solidified the Mac platform and put entertainment and information devices in the hands of millions. Apple Inc. a company that was on the brink of demise at the turn of the century became the second largest company in the United States, second to Enron.

The man was remarkably smart. I have compiled some of his thoughts from that seminal speech. These are Steve Job's own words, his ideas on how to live, how to love and how to structure purpose in your life.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

So absolutely true. Some people say that they have no choice and that life chooses for them what they can and cannot do. They go to jobs that they don't like to work with people they despise. Instead, if you love what you're doing, then it isn't work.

"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." [......], I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

This is amazingly powerful stuff. Real and understood, yet we don't live as though today was the last day of our lives. That sense of urgency, to live, to be fulfilled, to reach out and surpass. Instead, we live as though we will get to the things that we want to do tomorrow. It's as if those things that we want to get done, aren't really all that important. They can wait. In fact, they can wait indefinitely.

When Steve Jobs said this it came from the heart. This was a man who a year earlier had been diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live. Imagine your doctor telling you to go home and take care of your affairs. Wouldn't you run into the nearest bar and have a few drinks? Wouldn't you want to first saturate your mind with alcohol, numb the pain? What kind of passion for the thing you love must you have to tell yourself that you must continue on because there's so much to do?

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

That says it all. Time is short, don't waste it not doing what you'd rather do. The photograph on the left shows Steve Jobs holding a MacBook Air. The same laptop that I have, the one in which I'm writing this blog entry. It's a wonderful piece of technology.

And so what are the lessons learned? In Steve Job's own words: Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish!

The Last King of Scotland - Giles Foden

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, extremely well written. The movie, which I saw before reading the book, a few years ago, probably put me off reading the book. I find it difficult to imagine authenticity when black American actors pretend to be African. I respect Forest Whitaker's work, but I didn't buy his portrayal of Idi Amin. It's tough. For that matter, Denzel Washington's portrayal of Steve Biko was adequate, not earth shattering, so was Danny Glover in Bopha! and Whoppi Goldberg in Sarafina. All good, not anything special. On the other hand, South African Henry Cele did a fantastic job as Shaka in William C. Faure's mini series, Shaka Zulu. Henry did such a good job that his face is embedded in my memory when I think of Shaka! Yaphet Kotto, an American, would have done a good Idi Amin. James Earl Jones wouldn't.

But Giles Fodden's novel is a remarkable piece of writing. I read this book in a couple of days, stealing time from other things, because I couldn't put it down. It wasn't only because of the vivid scenes of constant danger that made the book exciting, but Giles Fodden really knows how to tell a story. This is a good story and told really well.

It's a book of fiction and we're introduced to the main character immediately, their reasons for leaving Scotland and going to Africa to work as a doctor. It isn't something I'd do, but having grown up in Kenya where there are so many expatriates, it's easy to relate to the British desire to come to Africa. Giles quickly moves into descriptions of life in Africa during Uganda's early post colonial days. Through the eyes and mind of Dr. Nicholas Garrigan, we observe how Ugandans think, what the country looks like, the language, the food they eat, the conditions of the roads, the soldiers that are ever present with their AK-47's, the congestion in the country buses, the poverty in the villages, the lack of medicine, the dangers lurking in the countryside. All of this we're told in amazing detail to get a sense of the primitive nature of medicine, the lack of resources and the resourcefulness of the people. Some of the diseases are quite nasty and seemingly hopeless, yet the doctors soldier on, one patient at a time.

What's amazing about this story is how quickly we're led into Idi Amin's world. The mind of the man and how he operates, no different from many leaders. He takes Garrigan into his confidence as his personal physician and though Garrigan has mixed feelings about being in the employ of Amin, he goes along. Even when he sees that it isn't in his best interest, he continues to work with Amin.

One wonders why he didn't escape. After all, as we read the book, we can see disaster waiting to happen. It's almost as though Nicholas Garrigan cannot read the writing on the wall, or fails to believe that there's any writing at all, there's no wall as far as he's concerned. At one point, some employees of foreign missions ask him to poison Amin. Of course, this is the one place where I think he did a good job in disagreeing to do so. If he were caught, it would have meant certain death.

Giles Fodden does an excellent job as a story teller. He kept me turning pages and didn't let me get bored. When it came time for Nick to have some romance, he quickly walked me through it. I would have loved a different ending to the failed romance between Nick and the American Ambassador's wife, but hey, you can't have it all. And Sara's disappearance left me feeling empty. I like Nick, I wanted him to have it all. A happy ending. In a way, finding a home back in Scotland, where he could sit back, reflect and write his story was a happy ending in itself. He escaped with his life, even though he didn't get to become something, or someone greater.

Oakville 1/2 Marathon 2011 - Race Report

It's done! 1 hour, 40 minutes and 28 seconds. It could have been worse since I was really pushing to finish around 1 hour 35 minutes. Loosing five minutes is like losing an entire kilometre. That's a long way. It's a huge loss.

So what happened?

Got up at 4:00 AM, couldn't sleep. So I went into the kitchen and got something to eat. Some left over sweet potato. The race wasn't for another 3 hours and 40 minutes, everything would be digested by then, so no worries. After eating, I lay down and actually slept. The alarm went off at 5:00 AM, but I was now groggy and sleepy and didn't want to wake up so I switched it off and went back to bed. Not a good idea, but still I had prepared everything the evening before so I didn't really need to get up. My bib was already attached to my running shirt. My shorts were ready. Gels and electrolyte drink ready. Timing chip already attached to shoe lace. I could be out of bed and out of the house in five minutes if I wanted to.

So I slept till about 5:30. I wanted to get to the race for 7:00 AM. didn't know what parking would be like since the warning on the event website said that we'd have to park in the side streets, which meant that I'd have to leave by 6:30 at the very latest. But if there was any trouble at all on the way, I should plan to leave earlier. What if I got a flat, god forbid!

I was a little nervous, training had gone very well but I think I may have pushed too much mileage the last week and not rested enough. I ran 56 K from Tuesday to Friday and only rested on Saturday. I was a bit tired, but the Saturday rest should be enough for a 1/2 marathon.

I got to the park before 7:00 AM and managed to meet Rob who was running the 10K. We chatted for a bit and then he went off to the start of the 10K. The 10K event was starting at 7:30 AM with the 1/2 marathon 10 minutes later.

I've never paced myself, don't even know what a 1:35 pace feels like, but fortunately, I caught sight of the 1:30 pace bunny. So, I decided that I'd stick to them for as long as I could, and if they pulled away, so be it. I was really close to the starting line. When the final whistle blew, it probably only took a few seconds to cross the mats and the race had begun. The 1:30 pace bunny took off and I followed obediently. The pace was fast, too fast for my style. I'm used to taking a long time to warm up to a race. In fact, in the 2004 Mississauga marathon, it took me 1:46 to get to the 21.1 K mark and 1:41 to run the second 21.1. This negative split is my M.O. And in this case, the first 5K were brutal and I was pushing hard. When we turned onto Morrison Street at about 7K, I'd lost sight of the bunny and decided to let it be. I was sure that 1:30 wasn't my target but quite pleased that the 1:40 pace bunny was still behind me. I was somewhere in between. Morrison Street is an uphill grind and my training helped tremendously. Some of the runners that had passed me in the last kilometre were slowly making their way up the hill and I was able to run past them comfortably. I could actually feel myself getting stronger as we went up. The sharp incline is about 1.25 K in length and you feel every step. But I knew that once we got to the top, the rest of the race was flat and downhill. I kept glancing back and could see some space opening up. Great, I thought. Not too shabby. Feeling strong, and we're almost half way. Near the top, we turned left, as though we were heading back and the road flattened out. I saw the 8K marker come up but I was fatigued and was now at cruising speed. I thought that my training could take me all the way, as long as we didn't have too many stressful climbs. From what I remember of the maps, it was all downhill from here. A smile started somewhere inside me and slowly found its way to my lips. Not too shabby, I thought again.

But I slowed down significantly. I'd left the 1:40 pace bunny before we got to the hill, but surprisingly at close to 10K, he caught up with me. This was bad, I thought. Only half way, and now looking like I'm going to slip way behind my time. The 1:40 bunny also looked like they were cruising at a fairly fast clip. I fell in behind the group, a couple of girls, and one guy, and decided to stay with them. 11K came and went and so did 12K. By this time I was alternating between fatigue and feeling fit. I'd carried three energy gels with me, one I'd consumed at about 5K and another past the 10K mark. The plan was to consume them every 5K; 5, 10 and 15. This is probably what was now working its way into my system. The nourishment. At each water stop, every 3K, I made sure I took a few sips of water. There wasn't a lot of water in the small cups and I managed a couple of mouthfuls, sometimes only one, at each stop. But I didn't need that much anyway.

One of the water stops, probably at 15K was absolutely disaster. The girls giving out water ran out of cups and were just giggling as runners came by. I stopped, so did one of the girls in our pace group. She went up to the table to get herself some water, I waited and asked for a cup. I finally got one and by the time we took off again, the pace bunny was about twenty metres out ahead. Not to worry, I thought, plenty of time to catch them, but it was a bit concerting since the pace bunny was moving fairly quickly. I'd totally underestimated what a 1:35 pace felt like, and was now having problems keeping up with 1:40. Metre by metre I fought my way up to the pace bunny. The girl who'd lagged behind at the water stop was also scrambling to catch up and she was also having problems. I caught up with her and passed her slowly, making my way up to the pace bunny who by now only had one guy running next to him, and a girl who looked like she was falling back. Indeed when I finally caught up with them, it felt like a relief. Moving up to get to them was some work indeed. In hindsight, I could have kept going, past them and perhaps broken that 1:40 mark, but I was content to stay where I was. Tucked in between the pace bunny and the guy next to him. Beside me, the only girl left was starting to fall back. She'd catch up with us and then fall back again. The water stop girl had since dropped back.

As we came up to 19K, I felt relaxed enough to join in on the conversation between the pace bunny, whose name is Neil, and the guy next to him. Managed to wriggle myself in between them and while we were chatting, the guy who was with us started to pull up ahead. Neil, the pace bunny, I found out was running a short distance due to injury. I believe he mentioned that he's done a few marathons before, but concentrates mostly on 5K's, 10K's and half marathons. He was planning on doing the Toronto waterfront marathon in October, but due to injury, might wait till November and run in the Hamilton marathon. I didn't even know that Hamilton had a marathon. Looks like a good one for me since it gives me over a month to get ready for it. Should be more than enough time to build up the mileage and strength. So I'll probably register in a couple of weeks for that one. Should be fun to drive out to Hamilton and run in unfamiliar territory. Neil's stride was absolutely comfortable. Looked very easy and relaxed. The kind of gait that I would like to have. Didn't look like he was running hard at all. In fact, looked like he wasn't going too fast, but being beside him, I know that he was pushing it fairly consistently. Helps to have a watch so that you know exactly where you are. I plan on getting one soon. I've never trained or run with a watch. Too much pressure, but I guess, knowing how fast or slow you're going helps you pace yourself and gives you that mental edge.

At this point in the race, approaching 20K I had tons of energy, but I'd learned all the lessons I needed to learn for today. Wouldn't make much sense in sprinting and gaining an extra minute, if at all. Finishing comfortably was the goal at this point and we even started encouraging runners to keep going. Some people were really tired, and even though the finish line was so close, couldn't manage to overtake and sprint to the finish. Miraculously, one of the girls we'd dropped appeared about 100 metres from the finish and caught up to us. Neil turned around, encouraging her to push on and run past, but in the end, she managed to finish just behind us. We actually all stepped on the mats simultaneously. Neil reach over to shake my hand, and I said "thanks!" The girl, who I later found out is called Teresa, also came over, she seemed really pleased with the run, shook my hand and said "congratulations." I congratulated her as well.

Lessons learned.

Keep to my game plan. I'm not an early sprinter, and my body needs to get acclimatised to the road. That takes a while for me and I shouldn't panic as I see people dash past. I should aim at starting the race at about halfway.

Pacing's important. It's absolutely important to know where you are in the race, if you're ahead, it gives you a boost, confidence that you'll make your goal. If you're behind, then you can calculate how to get back into the game slowly, given the distance you still have to go. It was comforting knowing at 15K that we were on track, especially since I felt good and strong. I knew that I could sustain the pace. Not knowing where you are you might tend to overrun, or under-run. But a targeted pace will keep you sane. I should buy a watch.

Slow and steady and relaxed wins the race. I remember watching some people as they passed me and thought, my gosh, that looks very uncomfortable. Shoulders pulled back, arms dangling oddly in front, like a t-Rex. Legs kinda shuffling along, not striding. But they were moving better than I was. Even though they didn't look fast, they were passing me and moving ahead. I should work on my stride since I found out that increasing my stride length worked for me. I could relax more than with shorter strides. This means that I will have to spend more time stretching so that I can get better range of motion.

Heading to the Oakville half marathon

Two days left to the Oakville half marathon. I did some hard training over the weekend, ran 32k on Saturday followed by another 32k on Sunday. The weather on Saturday was chilly and I caught a cold, I thought it was a flu. Sneezing, headache, runny nose and so on. I was so sick I couldn't get up and run on Monday morning. The plan, easing into the Oakville half, was to run Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Rest Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Well, with Monday blanking out, I ran on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday. The plan this time was to rest Friday and Saturday. But now, as I write this note, on Thursday evening, facing a rest day tomorrow, which is Friday, and Saturday, I feel that I only need one day of rest. Saturday should do it. After all, I'm used to packing 32k on Saturday, so this time I'd be packing 0k and then 21.1k on Sunday. Compared to the 64k I do on weekends, this is a walk in the park.

Am I addicted to running or what? Is this OK? Do I need to see a shrink or am I OK?

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Kenya

Continuing our exclusive Tonyleeks coverage of African corruption, this time we focus on Kenya. The golden child of Britain's colonial experiments in Africa, if you exclude South Africa, Kenya a diverse land with many different tribes has also suffered under the hands of its leaders.

Founding father

Kenya attained its independence from Britain in 1963 and a year later became a republic. The newly crowned Prime Minister and then President was none other than the man who'd been at the front of the political fight for freedom, Jomo Kenyatta. This is not to say that he was the most prominent agitator, but he was definitely the front line candidate when independence finally arrived, much like Nelson Mandela in South Africa. However, Kenyatta swiftly surrounded himself with his most trusted advisers, who happened to be close friends and relatives. Some members of his political party, KANU, who happened to be from different tribes were quickly marginalised and even imprisoned. In the 1950's the GDP per capita of Kenya was just under $1,000 which, at the time, was higher than South Korea's. By 1973, Kenya's GDP had just passed $1,000 and South Korea's was just under $3,000. Kenya had virtually stagnated and South Korea was growing. Why?

Moi

The problems in Kenya were started by Kenyatta, but it was Daniel Arap Moi who refined corruption to an art. Corruption in 80's Kenya was a fact of life. The administrators in government offices depended on hand-outs to perform jobs that they were paid to do. The policemen and women supplemented their wages with bribes. And, of course, the president himself, and his friends, awarded themselves with the most lucrative of contracts from donor countries. The World Bank at one time was Moi's bank, money coming in to the country, and into the Kenyan Central Bank was shuffled into his personal account.

Both Moi and Kenyatta snatched the best land in Kenya for themselves. But they were also careful to not keep their eggs in one basket and they invested heavily in the United States and Europe. It is said that Moi has buildings in Toronto of which he's a landlord. Like Zimbabwe's Mugabe, Moi and Kenyatta made sure that the assets were securely locked into family hands and when Kenyatta passed away, his wealth was safely transferred to his third wife, Mama Ngina, together with her children. Moi had done exactly the same, transferring assets and holdings to the names of his sons.

And so we come back to the same question, while all this is going on, what his happening to the common man? To the Kenyan on the street? Kenyatta should have known better. He was an academic and had studied in Britain (like Mugabe) and seen how the democratic process is an enabler for everyone. As an anthropologist he should have known that petty politics, the politics of feudalism doesn't work for the betterment of the entire society and that for a country to succeed, it must engage all of it's citizens. But his education didn't help, like Mugabe's, leads us to ask if there's something else at play here. It isn't the gullibility of the population, because they see it, or do they? The people, the Africans, they are unable to coalesce into a resistance unless things become unbearable. At that time, the wound is a festering boiling bulb with the puss ready to explode. Kenya almost reached that point in 1982. Zimbabwe obviously hasn't reached that point yet. Moi's case is particularly annoying since he obtained a country on a downward spiral, one that he could have stopped. Kenyatta received a country with infrastructure, a country with a small, but sizeable intellectual group. People who could have helped nourish the potential. Yet that didn't happen. And when Moi ascended to the throne, the roads continued to dilapidate, hospital services continued to decline, the birth rate in the country rose to be the highest in the world with a denser population of poor people. All the while, Moi was riding around in his state Mercedes and living in luxury. Amassing wealth in various countries and continuing on the legacy of oppression and economic decline.

Like Mugabe, Tonyleeks has learnt that Moi's election results were all rigged. Dead voters were resurrected from the grave to turn out en-mass to vote for Moi. Unlike his successor, Moi's rigging was plainly obvious. The running joke was "why bother? He's going to win anyway!"

There's absolutely no reason for any of the African countries, who won their independence in the early 60's to be so primitively backward. Unfortunately one cannot put such high hopes on the ruling class. When it came to the fight for independence, goals were clear, the agenda was set and everyone had the same vision. Once the country had been handed over, they stood around, staring blankly at each other, and wondering what to do with all this newly acquired wealth. And like pigs to the trough, they dove in and fed.

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Uganda

In this second article of a series on corruption in Africa, we discuss the case of Uganda's Idi Amin. The facts of Idi Amin's rule are mixed with fiction and fantasy. Much of what is talked about is exaggerated even though there is some truth to the atrocities he committed.

Idi Amin was a soldier in Uganda's army, having no more than a fourth grade education, he was intellectually challenged as a politician or a bureaucrat. He however managed to ascend to the rank of commander in chief of the Ugandan military with the assistance of the president, Milton Obote. It was from Obote that Amin took over power in a coup d'etat in 1971. The two were initially friends but fell out later.

It isn't known how many people were killed during Amin's rule. The numbers range from 80,000 at the low end to about 300,000. Idi Amin was indiscriminate in his killing. He killed political leaders, members of his own government, clergy, the chancellor of the university. Urged by his friend Moammar Gadhaffi, he expelled about 80,000 Asians from Uganda in the 70's as well. Many of them had only 72 hours to pack whatever little belongings they could pack and leave the country. Many of them had British passports and so ended up in Britain.

Insanity.

Idi Amin is an anomaly, mostly because he doesn't epitomise the intellectual African crook. Like Zimbabwe's Mugabe for instance. This is a solder who in his eight year reign did things that can only be described as absurd and which lead one to wonder where the people of sound mind were. It's like being led by an idiot and following the idiot's orders. He was the self styled, self declared leader who had the title "His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular." Now, one wonders, standing around, his ministers and other officials, on hearing this, if any one of them raised an eyebrow. He wasn't a recipient of the Victoria Cross (VC) and he didn't acquire any Distinguished Service Order (DSO). This is a man who titled himself the last king of Scotland. Who allegedly sent the queen of England a telex with the message: "Dear Liz, if you want to know a real man, come to Kampala." There are also rumours that he dismembered one of his wives and that he was a cannibal. He was a polygamist and it's rumoured that he killed the boyfriends of one of his wives in order to marry her. Idi is said to have fathered close to 40 children and even when he was in exile in Saudi Arabia, he was still marrying and fathering more children.

Is it then the African condition that we should take our leaders, good and bad, follow them without questioning their sanity. Here's a clear case of someone who should not even have had control of the army. In civilised society, where expansion of territory is now complete, and armies are there for defence, a military general needs skills both as a competent soldier as well as diplomacy. While Idi was a competent soldier, it is clear that he was closer to being an animal than a human being.

Idi Amin was eventually overthrown. He spent a little time in the protection of his friend Gadhaffi and then under the hospitality of the Saudi Arabian government in Jeddah. At some time in the late 80's he tried to return to Uganda, but was repelled from Zaire. It's hard to imagine that he had supporters in Uganda, given all the news.

It's not clear if Idi Amin amassed any wealth for himself. His personality suggests that he surrounded himself with people of similar characteristics. He wasn't an intellectual and he would not have known how to plan for the long term. It's amazing that at one point, he was elected as the head of the Organisation of African Unity (OAU). The fact that he had diplomatic ties with African countries isn't difficult to understand given the continent's appetite for despotism. However, only Libya was open as an asylum at his time of need. Relations with Tanzania had broken down to war and Kenya had a permanent army at the Kenya-Uganda border.

Lessons learned.

The Ugandan economy suffered greatly during Idi's reign. After he expelled the Asians from the country, the industries that they ran fell into mismanagement and eventually collapsed. The Ugandan shilling lost all it's value and Kampala fell into disrepair. Many of Idi's top officials also escaped for fear of their lives. Some went into neighbouring Kenya and others ended up in Britain. Control of the army gave Idi strength. An army is trained not to think, but to follow orders. Many of the soldiers in the U.S. or British army do the same. They are commanded to go to war and they follow orders. In much the same case, Uganda's army was commanded to follow Idi's orders. Where they failed was in turning their might on their own people. The police force of a country keep law and order. An army is supposed to look for external threats. In Africa, there are very few cases where an army general transitions into a successful president. It almost never happens. The qualifications simply aren't there. Can you blame the African people for not reacting to the oppression? Perhaps the common person, too far away from where the decisions are being made, cannot do anything. However, the cluster of authority, those close to Amin, those who carried out his orders, in fact supported and advised him must be blamed. Amin didn't act alone. He was supported in his insanity,

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Zimbabwe

This is a Tonyleeks special on corruption. We'll be exposing current leaders who have abused their authority with flagrant flamboyant spending, misuse of public assets and a complete disregard for the rule of law. Tonyleeks will describe in annoying detail the things that you perhaps know, but were afraid to ask.

Zimbabwe.

A lot has been said about corruption in Africa and right here, a Tonyleeks exclusive special, we're about to reveal some of the things you may not know. We speculate, we often joke about, we continually ramble on and broach the subject, never delving into it, the cause and effect of corruption in Africa and while we continue to talk about it, never actually doing anything to stop it, it continues to erode the continent.

Zimbabwe. I remember when Zimbabwe got its independence from Britain, the colonial masters. It was in 1980 and I was old enough to have political sensibilities, even though I was still in high school. A then very young Robert Mugabe took over a country that was brimming with potential. A country that had been built no less on the backs of the African majority to the benefit of the European minority. Much like South Africa, Kenya, Uganda and most of the African nations. Mugabe was young and bright and exhibited many of the qualities of tomorrow's African elite. The leader of leaders. He was the one that was going to show the independent nations of Africa how an African country should be run.

Headquarters in Harare, he began to systematically tear down the country. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely and Mugabe wasn't above that rule. When campaigning for independence, Mugabe was the man of the people. In a few short years, he became the man of himself and his family.

Giving land to his friends and family, many of who couldn't farm, introducing corrupt land distribution (also known as land reform) policies that made sure that productive white people were forcibly removed from their land started the country in a downward spiral.

It's not difficult to imagine that sooner or later, he'd have to start borrowing money from the international community. That sooner or later, Zimbabwe would join a host of other African nations that cannot feed themselves. A beautiful country of just over 13 million people, who many refer to as the heart of Africa, with beautiful rain forests, and voluminous waterfalls a hard working population that historically built the city of Great Zimbabwe, to be reduced by a handful of neocolonialists  to starvation and third world destitution is tragic. More than tragic, this is senseless and shows that the selfish agenda of despotic African leaders is more to blame than the history of colonialism.

Without a doubt, Mugabe has pocketed millions, if not billions, of donor aid money. He's enjoyed a privileged lifestyle while his people have become increasingly destitute. He owns a number of homes, many of them overseas. Enjoys privileges exceeding those of the wealthy in developed countries mostly supported on the labour of the people he promised freedom from oppression. Many of his country men and women are no better today than they were during colonial times. Many of them are far worse off. Of course, independence has worked in favour of Mugabe and his close friends.

Tonyleeks has also learned that Mugabe's wealth is not entirely contained in Zimbabwean assets. He also holds title deeds in Europe and North America. In fact, it's arguable that most of his assets are outside Africa. The question as to how those assets were funded is shrouded in creative accounting the likes of which some of the larger consulting companies are used to. Mobutu Sese Seko, Kamuzu Banda, Jomo Kenyatta, Arap Moi, Idi Amin, Patrice Lumumba, Jerry Rawlings, Ghadaffi and a list too long to mention have intimate partnerships with the Pricewaterhouses, the KPMG's, Delloite and Touche's and Dunwoody's of this world. In order to squirrel away large sums of money it's inevitable to associate with unsavoury types who understand the financial world and are versed in the science of laundering to make illicit activities appear somewhat legal. Al Capone, known mostly for the gangster violence in prohibitionist Chicago was finally captured due to an error in Federal tax calculation. Al apparently wasn't paying attention to his income tax returns, and quite rightly so, since it would have been very difficult to submit exorbitant income statements and escape an audit from the Internal Revenue Service of the United States government.

But Mugabe doesn't require creative actuaries or, for that matter, actuaries or accountants. The money that he has obtained is a salary, base pay, for services rendered to the people of Zimbabwe, most of it accounted for through government expenses since he doesn't have to pay for his meals, his transportation, his accommodations since these are all charged to the people he serves. And this makes sense. You wouldn't expect to send an envoy to represent you without providing them with transportation, meals and shelter. Likewise, Mugabe's stand is that he has this huge responsibility of leadership, chosen by the people, and so they are paying for his leadership.

And so while the cost of running Zimbabwe is high, and the results are clearly not visible, the question that remains to be answered is whether or not the formula that Mugabe is using is an equitable one. Is his governance fair? Is he elevating the status of the common man, woman, child and creating an environment that fosters the betterment of everyone?

So far the results do not show this. Of late, Tonyleeks has uncovered reports of abuse leading to death of Zimbabweans who are against government politics. Dissent is frowned upon in modern Zimbabwe. Once upon a time, the common person could raise his or her voice and the sound of that criticism would be welcome. Mugabe, the greatest critic, was able to win his argument with the British and kick them out of Zimbabwe. But now that the voices of dissent have turned on to his government, those voices are no longer welcome. Sadly, a number of reports from the field indicate that heightened poverty leaves the citizens with no choice. Especially in cases where land is an issue. Peasants chased off their land that Mugabe wants to allocate to his cronies often find themselves on the wrong side of the law. In such cases, having no voice, no visibility to the International community, their disappearance isn't even noticed.

Mugabe is the first African president of Zimbabwe. He ascended to presidency on independence and as of this writing, 2011, he is still the leader of the country. He was born on the 21st of February in 1924 which would make him 87 today. Like many dictators, he does not see an end to his presidency and his failing health is becoming much more prominent on national television. He is not the same man who took over power at the age of 55. Definitely, 32 years of ruling isn't the issue. There have been monarchs and other leaders who have ruled as long, but showing no progress, in fact, leading a country to ruination requires fortitude and presence of mind to step down. Stepping down isn't in the interest of Mugabe and Mugabe does only what's best for Mugabe. He's shown time and time again that he only pays lip service to the people he supposedly represents. Making the tough decisions isn't something that he's likely to do right now.

Mugabe is therefore a prime example of an incompetent African leader. He will go down in the annals of history as the man who principally destroyed Zimbabwe who took a country full of hope and destroyed its productivity, much like Idi Amin of Uganda and Arap Moi of Kenya. A sad example of why the western, primarily European, world looks to Africa, shakes their collective heads, and sighs at the inability of Africans to govern themselves. In the latter part of 2000, a movie about a land conflict was created, Mugabe and the White African (http://www.mugabeandthewhiteafrican.com/). A story of one White Zimbabweans struggle to keep land that he had purchased from the government. There isn't a happy ending in that story, however, it is typical of the struggle that many Zimbabweans face in trying to succeed against insurmountable odds. Left to Mugabe and his cronies, the country will be destitute within a decade.

And like the motto of the movie, if good men do nothing, evil will prevail.

I Love LSD!

Long Slow Distance!!! and not the psychedelic drug Lysergic acid dyethylamide. Yeah, I had to look that up. LSD is the best way to train injury free. It's worked well for Ed Whitlock, now in his early seventies, and running really well.

Normal distance running training is difficult. Even Haile Gebrselassie, on retirement after not being able to complete the 2010 New York Marathon said the phrase hard training a number of times. Paul Tergat, a marathon legend also talks about the extremely dedicated hard work they do to prepare for endurance runs. And there's nothing wrong with hard, tough training. Except, at a certain point in time, when your body can no longer take it, when you're weary of the hard training and recovery from injury takes longer, then most distance athletes stop. Not slow down, they stop. Training ends, competition ends, and life slows down.

But for those of us that have chosen running as a lifestyle and not as a career with an end-date, then running is something that you do comfortably and enjoyably, like eating, strolling, enjoying time off and relaxing.

And those benefits come with LSD!

Long

Get outside, spend some time. Quality time. Have time, don't be in a rush. Like the clock above, the hands have been stripped off. You're not watching the clock because you have all the time in the world. Nothing is rushing you back. You've dedicated at least an hour, better two, to be outside with yourself.

Slow

Take your time. Don't exert yourself. Well, don't over-exert yourself. It's breezy and calm. You move easily and slowly, carefully and consciously putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling and remembering each step, to slow yourself even further. Imagine yourself slowing down, like the six million dollar man, in slow motion. You're barely breathing because it's so simple and slow. You feel weightless.

Distance

Go far. Don't worry about how far you are away. Long mileage. 10 K is for beginners, you tell yourself. You're used to chewing up the road. You're invincible. Your slow gait, your upright poise, step after step after step, moving purposely forward, further away, time slows down to a stop and everything around you stops moving, but you're surging ahead. You're not calculating the distance, but well aware of how far you've travelled. You know how far away you are and keep moving further. Life is motion and motion means moving ahead. Moving further and further away. Don't stop till you have to when you're completely spent. The tank is empty but not painfully so. Run far.

Running shoe closet

You know you're a runner when you're retired shoe closet looks like this:

Dress shoes normally end up in the garbage but running shoes can be donated. My running shoes normally still have some life left in them for walking about.

Running shoes

How long should you run before you retire your running shoes? A Google search for this returns numbers between 200 miles and 500 miles. Some people are running up to 800 miles on the same shoes. In kilometres that's approximately 400 Km to 800 Km. 800 miles is almost 1300 Km.

These shoes just finished 650 Km. They're done!

The shoe on the left was beginning to tear near the top. They still felt comfortable, bouncy, and I'm sure they could have done an additional 100 Km, but their time is up!

I read an article somewhere about this, the author said that the distance would also depend on the runner. The heavier you are, then the shorter the life of the shoe. In addition to that, there was a post I saw where the writer advises on buying two pairs of shoes. Using one of them more frequently and when it starts to feel off then you can replace it. In the buy more than one shoe category there's this notion that the shoe takes time to recover. The moulded cushioning provided by the shoe compresses after a workout. This needs between 24 to 48 hours to recover -- according to this source. Sounds logical, but I've worn the same shoe every morning for 650 Km without much of a problem. I used to have two shoes and alternate them and I might do that in the winter. The main problem in the winter is wet shoes and drying out definitely takes longer than a day.

Those shoes were replaced with these ones:

Same model, different colour. The last one had that green trim thing happening, this one's blue. Blue's definitely my colour though I was hoping to get yellow or red this time around. After all, I'm now comfortable running in red and orange tops.

So for me, I'll switch shoes close to the 600 Km mark. 700 Km is the outer limit but I should start looking for shoes once I reach about 550 Km. With my weekly 134 Km dosage it doesn't take long to go through running shoes.