Stoic Joy - Review 5 of 5

In this last section I'll tackle a whole bunch of things. These are very practical issues in Stoicism. So far we've discussed the goals, lofty they may seem, of Stoicism. The pursuit of tranquility. In this, we've discussed negative visualisation as a practical means of enjoying the present moment and being content with what you have. We've also discussed the past and the future. That their impact on the present moment should be advisory, and not the main focus. That presentation that you gave to the board of directors that bombed is in the past. There's nothing you can do about it now, you could give a few people a call to see if you can salvage your job, but the presentation's done and that's it. That job interview you're going to tomorrow will happen in due time. You can prepare for it now, but since you're not in charge of the interview, you don't know how it's going to go. You'll just have to do your best today, be satisfied with your preparation and show up. It could go well, it could go badly, but that's not something you have control over. Right now you have control over your preparation. And then the issue of control. The one thing that we truly have control over is ourselves. Not over the weather, or the attitudes of others, or if the car will start in the morning (though that's debatable), but we have definite control over if we should watch television right now, or sit and read. Of course, should the house crash around us, that decision is still ours, but it would be wise to get out of the way.

So in this section, a few things to think about.

Firstly, abstinence and self denial. We may have touched on this, but the Stoics thought that the act of self denial, causing yourself temporary discomfort, was a way to enjoying what you had. If you walk outside in the cold, with just a shirt on, you'll better enjoy the warmth once you're inside. If you practise not eating, you'll enjoy the taste of a piece of dry bread. Denying yourself certain comforts with the aim of better enjoying what you have in the present moment. The things that are in front of you. If you can enjoy what you have, then the frustration of waiting to get those things you don't have doesn't come into play. Because you're already there. Unfortunately, life is full of waiting for the thing that's going to make us happy to appear. Even when we're in the moment of pleasure, some sense of its imminent end makes it not so enjoyable. And once it's over, we set upon finding it again, waiting again. So the periods of self denial, where you put yourself in that place where you're not so comfortable, to experience discomfort, not to the extent of masochism, but obvious unease, those events allow you to better enjoy the things you have in front of you.

Secondly, meditation. Every religion has this in some form or another. Is it natural for humans to meditate? Do we need that quiet time to reflect, to pause and think about what we're doing, where we've come and where we're going? Seems like that is one of the stepping stones to achieving spirituality because introspection is demanded by almost every religion. The Stoics, Seneca especially, advise you to think and meditate on your life. What you did that day, if you could have lived it differently, not to dwell on it, but to learn from it. Meditation on the steps you're taking towards Stoicism will encourage you to do better and to live a better life. I can't agree with this more. Meditation demands quiet. It also demands solitude, both things that are very important in tranquility. I've discovered that even listening to television, for a single hour, is draining. The constant din of the television makes me very tired. If there's music in the background, I prefer something very light and soothing like jazz. Sometimes though the music can get annoying. The quiet reflection requires that you remove all sensory input so that you can concentrate on thinking. No noise, no smells, perhaps even close your eyes so that you're not distracted by that spot on the wall, or that book on the bookshelf that you've been contemplating re-reading. Or that computer that's urging you to type an email. But the act of meditation takes on a different meaning for different people. In my case, I find myself able to think better when I write. Paper and pen, not type. When I write, I slow down. When I slow down, I can concentrate on a single thing and not bounce from activity to activity. When I write about an incident that incensed me, I'm forced to think word for word, what I actually mean by incensed. And by writing it down, I can debate it with myself, slowly. Debate why I felt that way and what happened. Seneca especially gives some examples of how he reacted when criticised, snubbed, ridiculed and so on. Very human in the reaction, but we can see from his writings that he strove to come to sense with what was going on and try to heal himself. For example, when criticised, he would wonder if he deserved the criticism, and if so why he'd reacted negatively. He'd also wonder if the reaction to the criticism was because it was public, and so he wouldn't be appreciated by others who'd hear the criticism, or if the source of the criticism was someone who didn't understand the material, or even from a higher authority, who should know better, or from a know-it-all, who liked to ridicule in any case. All these things were considered to find an alternative method to dealing with the feeling. Not the actual criticism, because that's out of his control, but the emotions that would arise from hearing the criticism. It's hard to say that you shouldn't feel anything. But Seneca does advise that we should think of the feeling and ask ourselves if we're being governed by our reasoning or our feelings. Are we acting reasonably, or childishly. It's hard not to have an emotional context. That if someone calls you an idiot, you should walk away. The Christian bible talks about turning the other cheek. That's very difficult and Stoicism doesn't demand that you take abuse. But when humiliated, there are techniques, and we'll discuss one of them, that you can use to counter the criticism, especially when it's personal, and take it in stride. Therefore meditate, possibly daily, take some time out to reflect. If possible many times during the day, take a few minutes to stop, to pause and to contemplate where you are, what you're doing and whether or not you're doing the right thing and moving in the right direction.

Next dealing with people. One of the most contradictory things I have found in reading William Irving's book is the discovery that even though Marcus Aurelius was an emperor, he had issues dealing with people. It almost looked like he didn't like dealing with people, that he thought of his close advisors as idiots and that he was well aware of the backstabbing and talking that people were doing behind his back. Yet he could have dealt with it by throwing them all to the lions and proceeding to surround himself with people who would talk nicely of him and not criticise him. Typical to Stoic thinking, Marcus advises us to put those trying, annoying incidents into context. When put into cosmic context, the fact that one day we will die, they then seem to fade, in fact disappear. What does it matter when someone calls you an idiot when you know that one day, he'll be dead, you'll be dead and this instance of time will be lost, to you and to those sitting around now, hearing the insult. The Christian bible talks about putting out anger with a kind word. The Stoics don't think so. When faced with insulting people, the Stoics turn to humour. This is fabulous, in fact the advice given here is almost priceless. What they're attempting to do is douse anger. That feeling of hating them, or seeking revenge. And the only way is not to be like them. To refuse to be like them and to become an individual, with charity towards everyone, because that's what you are, is the best form of defence. For the most part, people who insult you are overgrown children, at least according to Seneca. Like a mother won't be upset if her child insults her, we shouldn't be upset if these overgrown children upset us. Some people are upsetting because they really believe in what they're saying. They honestly think that they're better than anyone else and they're approaching this from a position of absolute certainty. There's not much you can do about those attitudes, especially from people in positions of power. However, your attitude towards them can be tempered. Say, for example, your boss tells you that your work is sloppy and that you need to focus more on what you should be doing. Perhaps you were working as hard as you could and even though you say so, they still think that you've been slacking off. You can get angry, and that's one way to deal with this type of insult. Alternatively, you can proceed with the fact that this person doesn't know what you know. They have no knowledge of what you've been doing, how hard you've been working and why the results came out the way they did. They, not you, are the idiot. If your job in jeopardy, your alternatives are still quite good. Perhaps working for this person in the long run isn't such a good idea. Perhaps you can later convince them that your work is good. Whether you keep the job or leave, or are terminated, you will discover that your feelings towards the insult aren't negative. Two final pieces of advice when faced with insults. The first, is to respond with humour. Seneca gives an example when Cato was spat on by his adversary Lentulus he calmly wiped off the spit and said, "I will swear to anyone, Lentulus, that people are wrong when they say you cannot use your mouth!" The problem, Irving says, is that most of the time when you're insulted, you lose your presence of mind. You're dumfounded and thinking quickly on your feet isn't something that might be natural. I think that replying with humour is almost like insulting the person back. It's almost like going down to their level. Especially that statement by Cato. The alternative, and a solution from Musonius, is to say nothing. No response but to quietly bear what has happened. This seems to me a better alternative, unless it goes to the realm of allowing bullies to get away with insults. There are some people who make it their personal objective to be offensive. In those cases, there should be a way to douse their insults without sitting quietly and bearing the brunt of it. In those cases, diving full force into the insult and challenging it might be instructive. I must admit, I fall into the category of those who aren't so quick to launch back at an insult. I'm more likely to say, "no I'm not!" Later realise that the offender achieved their objective in making me take their criticism seriously, but its too late. Staying quiet sometimes robs the offender of the victory of the insult. On the other hand, if the insult was supposed to silence you, then perhaps the objective was met and they can watch as you stew quietly. The best response is quiet sitting and smiling then. In line with this is the fact that Stoicism advises you to not worry about things that are not in your control. What others think about you is not in your control. And so, you shouldn't worry about what others think of you. Since you cannot make them think any better or less, or since their thinking will change and that is change you cannot control, you shouldn't concern yourself with what they think about you. If you value your freedom, like the Stoics do, then you won't do anything that gives other's power over you. Allowing your happiness to come from the praise of other people is giving them too much power over you and so, the things they say, shouldn't concern you. Of course, you shouldn't be arrogant and ignore good advice. Perhaps the criticism was in good faith and required. Perhaps it was said in a kind tone. But perhaps thinking about the content, not the tone or the speaker, will help you dissect the words coming at you so that you can better decide how to deal with them. One of the worst things we can do when other people annoy us is to get angry.

There's a lot to learn about the philosophy of Stoicism. A lot of good advice on how to live. William Irving's book distills the core ideas of Stoicism in a readable text for those of us who aren't philosophy majors.