I found another excellent read and cannot wait to finish it. In many ways very similar to many self-help genre books on discussing how to generate peace, calmness and tranquility in the messy and noisy distracting world. With a million things competing for your attention and the wealth of information out there urging you in all directions so that you do not miss out on anything. "Stillness is the Key" by Ryan Holiday is a good short read that does a good job at describing the method of getting still. Not necessarily quiet, but still.
For the most part, we know most of that stuff. How smartphones, TV and the Internet are sucking all the spare seconds, minutes and hours out of our lives. How we cannot sit in silence for even five minutes without wondering what is going on out there. Even while having a meal, the phone isn't too far away, or the tablet or laptop is playing something while we eat.
When I visited South Korea in 2024 one of the things I noticed is the silence in the public transit system. Everyone is totally focussed and engaged in swiping media on their phones. Even when walking on the streets, as well as crossing them. While the same thing goes on in Toronto, where I lived, it's only after my visit to South Korea that I really saw the effects of the complete absorption by the smartphone.
ALWAYS ON - ALWAYS AVAILABLE
One of the biggest problems with the smartphone is that it combines a relatively simple device (the mobile phone) with a very powerful one (a mobile Internet device). With connectivity provided by the phone's data plan, you're now always available. And everybody knows where you are at all times.
The "notification" system on the phone is an ingenious, though unquestionably, unarguably and decidedly the most fiendish part of the smartphone. The notification system puts the phone in charge of your life and your smartphone becomes the boss - not you. By turning on notifications, you delegate responsibility for your actions to your phone.
And you simply CANNOT IGNORE NOTIFICATIONS. No matter how you try, if the phone buzzes or pings, your curiosity will override your determination to control your time and you'll at least take a peek. And once you take a peek and even if you cannot see the notification but are able to see the sender, your attention will inevitably be drawn to further investigate the contents of the notice.
PRACTICE SILENCE
Mastery of anything requires practice. You don't become proficient at anything overnight. For most things it may take years of doing it over and over and over again.
I ran my first marathon in the mid-80s in Montreal in a finish time of four hours and fifteen minutes (or thereabouts). It was a punishing, gruelling run. I did not know what to expect when I got to the start line and that race taught me valuable lessons about pace and staying within my own competency.
Ten years later I cracked my personal wall, the sub-3 hour run in Ottawa. And that race, though challenging was not as punishing as the first one.
Practicing silence does not mean meditation in a quiet room, but rather spending time without distraction with your own thoughts. It means sitting quietly, on your own, without your phone, without media and possibly without a book to read or write in and just being there.
Practicing silence doesn't ask you to stop thinking and try to empty your mind. It only asks you to sit and observe. Even observe your thoughts and weigh them against the here-and-now. As much as possible discard thoughts about the past and shelve thoughts on the future. Entertain thoughts of the present, of the air, the chair, the sky, the walls, the sounds or lack of sound.
Practicing silence asks you to do your best NOT TO JUDGE what your brain is thinking about, but to observe it.
What will ultimately happen is that you'll learn how to stay in the present. It won't come overnight, it will come with practice. Very slowly. The stressful anticipation of something coming up tomorrow or next week will be controllable and not feature in the now. The disaster you had last year will not terrify, but will be an interesting page in your life. Just that. A page, that's now been turned.
MEDITATION
And ultimately, a form of meditation will take place. Since you're not looking for a distraction from silence of just sitting down, in order to stop your worst thoughts from running away and destroying the quietness, you focus on the breath, on the feeling of the world around you and try as much as possible to stay focussed on what is happening now.
It is a slow process. It is a growing and a learned process. But you do something regularly and frequently and it becomes a habit.
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