Success

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it

-- Maya Angelou

I've been thinking a lot about life and personal success lately. I'm much older now so the horizon, the timeline, to achieve long term goals is much shorter. I'm much more realistic in terms of what my capabilities, and limitations are.

And so I've been writing a lot in my daily journal. Ramblings mostly. Trying to sort things out on paper, and not just in my head. Because there's a lot of noise going on up there, most of it just clatter and dreams. But there's a sense of wandering, of purposelessness (if that's a word). And of vague, undefined targets and goals. This blog is something of that too.

Mostly I've been thinking of the definition of success. What does it mean to be successful?

In a race, success means winning. Because a race involved competition. 

Does life involve competition? And if so, with who?

Success is a moving goal, it doesn't stay still. But is that really true? Is success a target? Something to be achieved?

I'm writing this now, and the purpose is to think and put down on paper. At the same time, since this is my blog, the intent is to write something coherent that I can share. That you can read so that you too, can go out and think about success - for yourself. Having read my struggle to try and articulate it.

While it's easy to come up with slogans, or saying, it's best to struggle with this definition for ourselves. And that's a slogan in itself. To define, first, what success means to you.

And it could be something simple as, having enough money so that I can do the things that I like to do. And I suppose, if you have a good job and have money, then articulating the things that you like to do is the next step. And not lofty, superficial things, like travel the planet. Real things involving mental  and physical health, service to self and others, and the occasional achievable luxury.

We all won't own personal jets. And they aren't necessary - nor required in my opinion. Even if you have all the money in the world, a personal jet is a waste of resources, unless you loan it out and it becomes a business.

We won't all ascend to being corporate giants. We may remain as clerks, working in the back, doing the necessary jobs that allow the company to do what it does. Necessary, but not limelight stuff.

We won't all participate in the Olympics.

We won't all write books.

We won't all win the Oscar or Nobel prize.

Those aren't really goals, and not the stuff of personal success.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

-- Woody Allen

That quote by Woody Allen says most of it. What it also means is that nobody can define success for you. And that only you'll know when you get there.

Here's another one.

Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else.

-- Judy Garland

It's not always easy not to compare ourselves with people around us.

Last thoughts.

• Take time to read, every day.
  
  
• Meditate, think, reflect - and jot down your thoughts.
  
  
• Draw, doodle, get your hand moving.
  
  
• Take walks.
  
  
• Work passionately on something. Anything.
  
  
• Don't think too much about what's past, but reflect on good times.

We hear a lot about being in the moment. I believe we exist in the moment, but live in the future. Always worried about the next thing, and not concentrating on what's going on right now. Always planning for the future, which may or may not come.

And if you take only one thing from this, take this:

Success is being able to passionately live, in the moment.

Computer Programming - the new A, B, C's

Back in my school days, you'd get extra points for handwriting. Legibility, in the form of mastery of your handwriting, was valued. That's why fountain pens were in. Even long after ball point pens had taken over the business world, and proved that they were cheaper and easier to write with than fountain pens, the fountain pen was still the hallmark of a classical education.

Reading, writing and basic mathematics. That was the primary goal of elementary school - or at least, it should have been. And high school was supposed to start focusing your thinking on your unique skills. What do you want to become.

In today's world, reading, writing and basic mathematics don't make up a basic education. If that's all you have, then life is definitely going to be very hard. You need to add speaking skills and technology to the mix. Not that you have to be a Toastmaster, or a software genius. But that you have to be able to thoughtfully articulate your thinking by speaking well. And you also need to learn how to use modern tools to do the mundane things in life. You don't need to learn the multiplication tables, you have a smart calculator. You don't even need to know which continent the Yangtze flows through - although in that case, the name might give it away. You have Google for that. And if you feel an itch somewhere on your belly, take a quick photo and send it off to medlabs, for a quick diagnosis as to whether is psoriasis, or you need to go home and take care of last minute things.

That's morbid. But it tells you that the stuff that got us to where we are today, won't get us to where we need to be tomorrow. That path is uncharted, unknown. And if someone tells you what the future holds, take them off your gift list.

While it may not be possible to get rid of writing by hand in schools entirely. At least not now. It's a good idea to lessen the focus that handwriting is a skill that you need to master. Nobody hands in handwritten letters anymore. If you did that on a job application, you shouldn't be surprised if they don't call you for an interview. And all governments require you to fill in forms online. I'm surprised that today (August 2021), the Canadian government still has paper forms for passport applications.

The New A B C's

But back to education. Our current system is modeled on the needs of a world that was undergoing industrialization. We're past that now. And we're into modernization and creativity. We don't need drones any longer. What we want are thinkers and creators. Not doers.So while reading and writing are important, so that you can consume and deliver information - math probably isn't.

But speaking and using technology replace math efficiently. Our children need to be armed with the ability to read effectively, write succinctly, speak eloquently and use digital tools masterfully.

Creativity

This is actually what the use of digital tools is asking us to do. It's not about the tool, it's about how efficient that tool makes you and the products you are able to create with it. The stone knife gave our prehistoric ancestors a huge advantage in being able to modify their world around them. And our huge industrial machines allow us to continue doing that.

So we look to our tools simply as implements. Things we can use to make the world around us much nicer, more comfortable to live in. We don't have to toil and sweat. Those days are past. We can now consume, reflect, socialize and create.

Ubuntu on a Microsoft Surface Book - 1st Generation

The Surface Book (1st Gen) had a manufacturer's defect that caused the LCD to bulge because of a defect in lithium ion battery in the screen.

While the laptop is still usable, the colours on the edge have a yellow tinge, which while annoying, you can still live with.

I use Windows primary for the Office apps. Excel in particular ties me to Windows since it's such an excellent application - without equal in Linux. None. As for the other Office programs, the Office 365 web versions have enough of what I need to ditch the bloated binaries provided for the operating system.

But keeping an excellent laptop, for the sole use of Excel seemed a bit excessive, so I bought a cheaper Lenovo ThinkPad (E14), on which I'm actually using to write this. And installed Windows and the Office suite on that. Then converted my Surface Book to Ubuntu.

What works?

1. Touchscreen - works.
   
   
2. Surface Pen - works.
   
   
3. Secure Boot - works.
   
   
4. Power management - works.
   
   
5. Screen rotation - works.
   
   
6. Sleep/hibernate on lid closed - works (sometime, rarely, issues on wake-up).

What doesn't work?

1. Windows Hello - hello? of course, there's no Linux software component for face-id using this camera. To be quite honest, it rarely worked well on Windows either, So I never used it.
   
   
2. IR camera - related to #1 just above.
   
   

I bought the Surface Book for work - when Windows was the world I lived in. And the Surface Pen is a really nice tool. Much better than the Apple Pencil when it comes to tactile feel on the screen.

So I'm really happy that the Pen side of the laptop is still secure, and that the Pen works just deliciously.

installation

For instructions, head over here [https://github.com/linux-surface/linux-surface/wiki/Installation-and-Setup]

The instructions are very well written, and thanks to the team.

To be safe, follow the instructions to DISABLE SECURE BOOT, even if you're installing Ubuntu.

You can enable secure boot, after the installation is complete, and you're happy with your better functioning system.

Three Rules for Everything

A blank sheet of paper.

I'm not sure what I'm doing in front of this blank sheet of paper. Only that sometime this afternoon, in a moment of absolute clarity, I had a thought. Not just any thought. A profound thought.

But I didn't write it down. I expanded it in my mind, being mindful in the moment. Making it real at that time and not postponing it, but writing it.

And now, I cannot remember what it really was. Only that it's led me to this blank sheet of paper, wondering what it was that was so wonderful, so encouraging to make me want to sit silently and think about what was going on in my mind.

The thought was about me. But not only about me. About my relationship with people. About the time and place that I'm in right now. About the fact that I was worrying about my motorcycle classes and how the last teacher made it so difficult. That it wasn't the "piece of cake" I thought it would be.

But I wasn't obsessed over that. I resolved that it didn't matter, and not just resolved it mentally. But actually got to roll it over and over in my mind till I was at peace with it. Knowing that eventually, at some point, not tomorrow, or even the next day, I would ultimately succeed. And life would continue.

And yes, there was that thought of life continuing.

What was it?

Today was a funny sort of day. A really strange day. Yesterday, we woke up to a disaster. One of our tenants had a hot water tank explode (not literally) in their attic. Hot water through the weak drywall ceiling, onto the floor and down the stairs. Ruining everything.

And the panic ensued. Janet rushed out to help with the cleanup. The staff got busy getting the plumber and the water people on the site to clean things up and get the repairs done.

And I worried about how many times this was happening. If it's not one thing, then it's another. These houses were built by people seemingly without a passion for construction. For the art of building something practical that would last a lifetime. Not just hacking things together, but taking the time, and care, to put together something lasting.

This is the fourth tank to fail in the attic space, and it won't be the last. It's not the first plumbing problem, and neither will it be the last. The homes I manage are not that well built, and it's making me sad.

It's not that I thought that the builders would build fantastic homes and then I would have nothing to do but advertise for good tenants, and then go on to other projects. Actually, I did. But here I spend my time paying electricians to come and fix the problems that they, themselves, have created.

That was yesterday. Today, yet another day of reflection, while the repairs were going on next door. I sat and, in the super cold day of early September in Nairobi, wondered what was going on. Inside my head, and around me. There are some projects that I started, but never got around to finishing them. There are ideas that I have, to do some marketing and then more. But they never got off the ground. Companies that I have registered, which have done absolutely nothing. And employees that I inherited, that are not the professionals that I wish them to be.

My dad, the superman, did everything to build this up. And even he would be a little shocked at the level of workmanship he was left with. But having grown up in Kenya, he's not surprised at all that stuff breaks. And that things fail. Electricity fails and there's no power for days, and that's OK. Public utility companies fail to provide water or other essential services, and that's OK. People who know less than anything about critical items in a home, are allowed to come and break down walls, hack floors, install windows, fix plumbing, repair gas and electric lines, with tools that look like they could have come from the fifteenth century.

This is not the first world, but I cannot help but think that we don't have to think in a third world manner to live in it. We need to expect more to get more. But that starts with expecting more from ourselves. And making ourselves accountable for the actions, not only of others, but of ourselves as well.

I have tried to tackle many things all at once, and failed at completing any of them. Perhaps it would have been better to tackle only one thing at a time.

https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-7-cardinal-rules-of-life-ba9f5458d3c9

And so here we are.

I'm 55 years old. And I love to read. I write somewhat, and I know that I'm a perfectionist, in some things, not all.

My rant above, about builders is typical of the standards I would like to hold others to. But then, if I did, I'd end up doing all the work, supervising it in a "micromanagement" like way. Or firing everyone.

And I cannot do everything myself, so I must let go of some stuff. Not everything, but some. So that it can get me to this point, where I sit down and accomplish something to the end. Not just think about it in my head and chastise those who are doing it. But complete it.

I used to be like this in university, where I would work all night on a project, determined and focussed. Not taking advise from anyone. But that was school and you were supposed to not listen to anyone except the voice in your head. And in life, I have run into people. And people must be listened to, and if you don't listen to them, you run the risk of not learning new things (because people can teach you stuff you don't know). You run the risk of missed opportunities. Or run the risk of being hated.

And so today's lessons, which I have forgotten in detail, but which are the ones that are making me write all of this down, tell me that I don't have the formula completely incorrect. That most of what I'm doing is purposeful.

And that we can distill the following three (in honor of Toastmasters) rules:

1. It's OK to sit quietly and do nothing and think.
2. Be yourself, without compromise, hold high your own ideals, and behave and act like you.
3. Just do it, and get it done. With care, as though you had all the time in the world.

The link I shared above had seven cardinal rules to live by. While that list is very specific, and it's a really good list, I think it can fit inside my much shorter one. One that you can mediate on each day, every hour of your life. Simply because lists are very difficult to remember. I really think rule #2 above is the best one, and as you get older, you'll see how unavoidable that rule is. Being someone else is work, a lot of work. Living up to someone else's expectations is horribly difficult. Always watching yourself, or trying to figure yourself by trying to step into someone else's shoes is next to impossible and leads to missed opportunities. 

Of Niklas Goke's seven cardinal rules, his #1 and #2 belong to my #2 item. Niklas Goke's rules are about letting go of the past, and allowing time to heal all. Your past is an intrinsic part of who you are, whether it's a past fraught with challenges, misery, misfortune or even inflicted evil. While you may not be who you were back then, I would insist that that person, the person you were back then, made you who you are today. And moving on simply means that you accept that this is where you are now. Whether you like it or not.

Niklas' rules #3 and #4 looks like my rule #2. In fact, they fit much better into that rule. Whether you like it or not, others have an image of you inside their minds, which is how they perceive you. They cannot explain that, just as you cannot explain that image and story you have in your mind about them, or your other friend. It's who they think you are. And I agree with Niklas that it makes no sense trying to coerce a different image, whether by logic or altering your behaviour. 

Niklas' rule #5 fits inside my rule #3. Read it, you'll see why.

And finally, Niklas' rules #6 and #7 are really not rules at all, but advice. They're not telling you what to do, but how to feel. He could have safely wrapped these inside #3, but they're OK to be there. This may have been what I was thinking when I thought of myself, and when I wrote down my rule #1. That it's OK to just be OK, and not burden yourself. Differently from inaction and #3, but in the sense of just sitting quietly. While Niklas tells you to smile and that you are in charge of your happiness, I was thinking of expressing the notion of just being. Existing for the sake of existing.

It should have been obvious.

Writing lists and rules for life is tragically normal and human. We want to have purpose and feel good and contribute. Some of us write so that we can make money. Others feel that they have something to say. This is why we see things and name them. Because we like to wrap things into words. 

Or draw them carefully while we examine them. To study them.

I'm not a writer. I'm not an artist. I am a builder. But not of buildings, or structures. Of spaces and experiences. And it is my hope, to live my life uniquely as me. And not as someone else would live it. With all the fears and pains of the DNA that is uniquely mine. And those fears and experiences will touch some people positively. And undoubtedly, some people will be affected by me negatively. While I won't go out of my way to aggressively take my stance, no matter what people say. After all, we live in civil society. I won't hesitate to do and act based on my knowledge and experience, that which maximizes my positive experience, without jeopardizing the happiness of others. As they too have a right to maximize their happiness, as long as it not at my expense.

The three rules should have been very obvious. And I think that they can be practised no matter what a person's vocation is. No matter the status, or standing in life is. Because I think that the greatest achievement is to find joy within yourself, and not drawn from others. Because if you can find that joy, and bask in it, it is a source that will never be drained. And a source that you can always tap into.

Writing, Technology and Laziness (and Perfection)

 

It appears, that I've been quite lazy, on the writing front, in 2021. This blog has actually frozen, and looking at it today, I'm wondering what is happening?

I got a new job. That's a good excuse, since I was busy assuming a number of roles.

But it's not good enough. Part of the reason I've been successful at work, is because I've managed to keep this blog as my mental companion. And I've noticed that not-writing, is affecting my ability to move forward.

And so I wonder, why do I write?

And I've come up with this basic answer. It's not perfect, but it's as close as I'll get without belaboring the point too much.

Writing

I write to think.

Whether it's on paper, or on my tablet, or on a full-blown computer. I write because it helps me think. 

It's a discussion with me. 

And while it's OK, to sit and reflect quietly in a corner, mentally going through the things that are bombarding my mind and sorting them out. Writing does a number of things that are very important, at least to me.

It slows me down. It slows my mind down. And the rush of some things disappear to the background, while what's on my fingertips takes precedence to what's on the front of my mind. Thoughts may rush to the front, but they have to stay in line. And if they're too impatient to wait for my fingers to finish the current thought, then they get dismissed.

Many times, the thoughts are incomplete.

Many times, the thoughts don't make any sense at all.

And while it seems like procrastination, it's a way of trying to sort out the million things that I should be doing, and trying to prioritize them.

And so, I must continue to write, haphazardly and incomplete, with a semblance of coherence, as though there's some sense to be made out of all of this.

Technology

And the decision to use paper, or a computer, is of less importance - other than the fact that I'm a lot more comfortable on the computer now, than on paper. Writing on paper is admittedly tiring. After a couple of sentences, my hand is tired. But I can type for an entire afternoon.

Laziness

In a different blog, I wrote about this. I don't think I'm lazy, just that I have too many things going and none of them are actually complete. Many websites at 60% completion. Assignments, many of them, that need finishing. Reading many books at the same time. And so, after a while, not finishing anything, but doing a lot seems like you're not doing anything at all.

And in that previous blog - this month, I promised myself that I would stop and submit work that was 75% done.

That number, 75%, is quite arbitrary, since the concept of 100% is not clear.

And even as I write this, I wonder if I can make this writing better, that I should shelve this piece now, and come back to it later - knowing very well, that could be months from now.

But I will let you read it, and get from it, the experience that I have writing it.

That's all for now.

2020 - The Year of Drafts

What's that saying, three steps forward, two steps back, is still progress.

I wrote that sentence on December 27th, 2020. And then left it as a draft, to be completed later. It's now 25th of July, 2021, and as I look at that one sentence, I know that I had stuff to say. Something that I wanted to get out, but what happened.

I'm committed to finish this today, because I listened to a podcast on Spotify by Jay Shetty (the British-Indian former monk, who's only 33, as of today and has a gazillion podcasts, books and other stuff he's done) where he talks about 7 things you can do to boost your mental health.

And one of those things can be a book on it's own. While it focusses on the issue of being a perfectionist, it is about procrastination. And here's the tip.

Don't aim for 100% complete, stop at 75%.

He says that all of his videos are 70 to 75 percent complete. That he doesn't even bother going back to correct the mistakes he knows are in the video.

Perfectionism can add a lot of stress in your life, increase anxiety, cause depression and even some suicidal tendencies.

I'm a chronic procrastinator. I have a million projects started, some started years ago. But very few get completed. I'm certain that most of them are past the 75% mark, probably closer to 80% or even 90%, but I still think I can make them better.

Continuous improvement, I call it. But if we want to be truthful, it's procrastination. Because, truthfully, I don't look at the stuff daily, trying to make it better. I just think that it's quite not yet good enough to be launched out there. That there's still something (which I feel, but cannot articulate) yet to be done.

When I studied architecture, in my first year, I had the same mental blocks. I would draw, and draw, and draw and read, and read, and research, and research projects to death. And the grades were somewhat average. Not too shabby, but not reflective of the effort that went into the production.

Sometime in my second year, a professor, Bruce Anderson, told me to go with the first thing that came to me. And develop that. It completely changed my approach and I ended up with the prize in architecture for my year when I graduated. There are no perfect chairs out there. No perfect homes. No perfect stories. No perfect meals. Some are timely (good for a moment). Some are personal (good for some people). But perfection doesn't exist.

And so, get on with it. Just get it done and move along, because the feeling of progress, of movement, of change and growth is much better than stagnating going around in circles, over and over and over again.

Practically...

• Start something.
• Get going.
• At some point, your brain gets tired.
• Stop.
• Pick it up later when you're fresh.
• At some point you get tired again.
• Stop.
• Publish - get it out there.

The discipline is allowing yourself only two stops - and then saying to yourself, even though I think there's more, right now, this is good enough to go out.

And with that said, and with my two stops since I started this yesterday, I'm releasing this now.

THE END.