A tribute to Steve Jobs

I knew very little of Steve Jobs. What I'd heard mostly was anecdotal. His temper and expletives at management meetings. He was a no nonsense type of person and put off a lot of his senior staff. Most of this is culled from heresy, not fact.

But now that he's gone, I've learned of a different side of the man. A person who was very bright, almost a genius. A man who battled with death and beat it many times before it finally overcame him. Someone who defied all odds in life, in business and in his influence on popular culture.

I didn't know any of this till he was gone. So many questions still remain, but I now realise that the man, and I, shared a philosophy of life that he lived, and I dream about.

In a seminal commencement speech given to the 2005 graduating class of Stanford University, I learned that he was adopted. His birth parents, too young to take care of him, gave him away at birth. The couple that raised him, who he called his parents, didn't go to college. He himself dropped out after six months, but popped into the more interesting classes.

I learned that he had a love for calligraphy, something that I too love. I love handwriting, I love ink, I love fountain pens and nice paper. I love beautiful script. In that speech, he mentions that this inspired him when it came to designing typefaces for the Mac.

I learned that he was diagnosed with cancer in 2004 and given a few months to live and fought to continue loving and living. He lived for seven more years after that diagnosis, seven years some might argue that were his most creative. In those final years, he solidified the Mac platform and put entertainment and information devices in the hands of millions. Apple Inc. a company that was on the brink of demise at the turn of the century became the second largest company in the United States, second to Enron.

The man was remarkably smart. I have compiled some of his thoughts from that seminal speech. These are Steve Job's own words, his ideas on how to live, how to love and how to structure purpose in your life.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

So absolutely true. Some people say that they have no choice and that life chooses for them what they can and cannot do. They go to jobs that they don't like to work with people they despise. Instead, if you love what you're doing, then it isn't work.

"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." [......], I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

This is amazingly powerful stuff. Real and understood, yet we don't live as though today was the last day of our lives. That sense of urgency, to live, to be fulfilled, to reach out and surpass. Instead, we live as though we will get to the things that we want to do tomorrow. It's as if those things that we want to get done, aren't really all that important. They can wait. In fact, they can wait indefinitely.

When Steve Jobs said this it came from the heart. This was a man who a year earlier had been diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live. Imagine your doctor telling you to go home and take care of your affairs. Wouldn't you run into the nearest bar and have a few drinks? Wouldn't you want to first saturate your mind with alcohol, numb the pain? What kind of passion for the thing you love must you have to tell yourself that you must continue on because there's so much to do?

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

That says it all. Time is short, don't waste it not doing what you'd rather do. The photograph on the left shows Steve Jobs holding a MacBook Air. The same laptop that I have, the one in which I'm writing this blog entry. It's a wonderful piece of technology.

And so what are the lessons learned? In Steve Job's own words: Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish!

The Last King of Scotland - Giles Foden

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, extremely well written. The movie, which I saw before reading the book, a few years ago, probably put me off reading the book. I find it difficult to imagine authenticity when black American actors pretend to be African. I respect Forest Whitaker's work, but I didn't buy his portrayal of Idi Amin. It's tough. For that matter, Denzel Washington's portrayal of Steve Biko was adequate, not earth shattering, so was Danny Glover in Bopha! and Whoppi Goldberg in Sarafina. All good, not anything special. On the other hand, South African Henry Cele did a fantastic job as Shaka in William C. Faure's mini series, Shaka Zulu. Henry did such a good job that his face is embedded in my memory when I think of Shaka! Yaphet Kotto, an American, would have done a good Idi Amin. James Earl Jones wouldn't.

But Giles Fodden's novel is a remarkable piece of writing. I read this book in a couple of days, stealing time from other things, because I couldn't put it down. It wasn't only because of the vivid scenes of constant danger that made the book exciting, but Giles Fodden really knows how to tell a story. This is a good story and told really well.

It's a book of fiction and we're introduced to the main character immediately, their reasons for leaving Scotland and going to Africa to work as a doctor. It isn't something I'd do, but having grown up in Kenya where there are so many expatriates, it's easy to relate to the British desire to come to Africa. Giles quickly moves into descriptions of life in Africa during Uganda's early post colonial days. Through the eyes and mind of Dr. Nicholas Garrigan, we observe how Ugandans think, what the country looks like, the language, the food they eat, the conditions of the roads, the soldiers that are ever present with their AK-47's, the congestion in the country buses, the poverty in the villages, the lack of medicine, the dangers lurking in the countryside. All of this we're told in amazing detail to get a sense of the primitive nature of medicine, the lack of resources and the resourcefulness of the people. Some of the diseases are quite nasty and seemingly hopeless, yet the doctors soldier on, one patient at a time.

What's amazing about this story is how quickly we're led into Idi Amin's world. The mind of the man and how he operates, no different from many leaders. He takes Garrigan into his confidence as his personal physician and though Garrigan has mixed feelings about being in the employ of Amin, he goes along. Even when he sees that it isn't in his best interest, he continues to work with Amin.

One wonders why he didn't escape. After all, as we read the book, we can see disaster waiting to happen. It's almost as though Nicholas Garrigan cannot read the writing on the wall, or fails to believe that there's any writing at all, there's no wall as far as he's concerned. At one point, some employees of foreign missions ask him to poison Amin. Of course, this is the one place where I think he did a good job in disagreeing to do so. If he were caught, it would have meant certain death.

Giles Fodden does an excellent job as a story teller. He kept me turning pages and didn't let me get bored. When it came time for Nick to have some romance, he quickly walked me through it. I would have loved a different ending to the failed romance between Nick and the American Ambassador's wife, but hey, you can't have it all. And Sara's disappearance left me feeling empty. I like Nick, I wanted him to have it all. A happy ending. In a way, finding a home back in Scotland, where he could sit back, reflect and write his story was a happy ending in itself. He escaped with his life, even though he didn't get to become something, or someone greater.

Oakville 1/2 Marathon 2011 - Race Report

It's done! 1 hour, 40 minutes and 28 seconds. It could have been worse since I was really pushing to finish around 1 hour 35 minutes. Loosing five minutes is like losing an entire kilometre. That's a long way. It's a huge loss.

So what happened?

Got up at 4:00 AM, couldn't sleep. So I went into the kitchen and got something to eat. Some left over sweet potato. The race wasn't for another 3 hours and 40 minutes, everything would be digested by then, so no worries. After eating, I lay down and actually slept. The alarm went off at 5:00 AM, but I was now groggy and sleepy and didn't want to wake up so I switched it off and went back to bed. Not a good idea, but still I had prepared everything the evening before so I didn't really need to get up. My bib was already attached to my running shirt. My shorts were ready. Gels and electrolyte drink ready. Timing chip already attached to shoe lace. I could be out of bed and out of the house in five minutes if I wanted to.

So I slept till about 5:30. I wanted to get to the race for 7:00 AM. didn't know what parking would be like since the warning on the event website said that we'd have to park in the side streets, which meant that I'd have to leave by 6:30 at the very latest. But if there was any trouble at all on the way, I should plan to leave earlier. What if I got a flat, god forbid!

I was a little nervous, training had gone very well but I think I may have pushed too much mileage the last week and not rested enough. I ran 56 K from Tuesday to Friday and only rested on Saturday. I was a bit tired, but the Saturday rest should be enough for a 1/2 marathon.

I got to the park before 7:00 AM and managed to meet Rob who was running the 10K. We chatted for a bit and then he went off to the start of the 10K. The 10K event was starting at 7:30 AM with the 1/2 marathon 10 minutes later.

I've never paced myself, don't even know what a 1:35 pace feels like, but fortunately, I caught sight of the 1:30 pace bunny. So, I decided that I'd stick to them for as long as I could, and if they pulled away, so be it. I was really close to the starting line. When the final whistle blew, it probably only took a few seconds to cross the mats and the race had begun. The 1:30 pace bunny took off and I followed obediently. The pace was fast, too fast for my style. I'm used to taking a long time to warm up to a race. In fact, in the 2004 Mississauga marathon, it took me 1:46 to get to the 21.1 K mark and 1:41 to run the second 21.1. This negative split is my M.O. And in this case, the first 5K were brutal and I was pushing hard. When we turned onto Morrison Street at about 7K, I'd lost sight of the bunny and decided to let it be. I was sure that 1:30 wasn't my target but quite pleased that the 1:40 pace bunny was still behind me. I was somewhere in between. Morrison Street is an uphill grind and my training helped tremendously. Some of the runners that had passed me in the last kilometre were slowly making their way up the hill and I was able to run past them comfortably. I could actually feel myself getting stronger as we went up. The sharp incline is about 1.25 K in length and you feel every step. But I knew that once we got to the top, the rest of the race was flat and downhill. I kept glancing back and could see some space opening up. Great, I thought. Not too shabby. Feeling strong, and we're almost half way. Near the top, we turned left, as though we were heading back and the road flattened out. I saw the 8K marker come up but I was fatigued and was now at cruising speed. I thought that my training could take me all the way, as long as we didn't have too many stressful climbs. From what I remember of the maps, it was all downhill from here. A smile started somewhere inside me and slowly found its way to my lips. Not too shabby, I thought again.

But I slowed down significantly. I'd left the 1:40 pace bunny before we got to the hill, but surprisingly at close to 10K, he caught up with me. This was bad, I thought. Only half way, and now looking like I'm going to slip way behind my time. The 1:40 bunny also looked like they were cruising at a fairly fast clip. I fell in behind the group, a couple of girls, and one guy, and decided to stay with them. 11K came and went and so did 12K. By this time I was alternating between fatigue and feeling fit. I'd carried three energy gels with me, one I'd consumed at about 5K and another past the 10K mark. The plan was to consume them every 5K; 5, 10 and 15. This is probably what was now working its way into my system. The nourishment. At each water stop, every 3K, I made sure I took a few sips of water. There wasn't a lot of water in the small cups and I managed a couple of mouthfuls, sometimes only one, at each stop. But I didn't need that much anyway.

One of the water stops, probably at 15K was absolutely disaster. The girls giving out water ran out of cups and were just giggling as runners came by. I stopped, so did one of the girls in our pace group. She went up to the table to get herself some water, I waited and asked for a cup. I finally got one and by the time we took off again, the pace bunny was about twenty metres out ahead. Not to worry, I thought, plenty of time to catch them, but it was a bit concerting since the pace bunny was moving fairly quickly. I'd totally underestimated what a 1:35 pace felt like, and was now having problems keeping up with 1:40. Metre by metre I fought my way up to the pace bunny. The girl who'd lagged behind at the water stop was also scrambling to catch up and she was also having problems. I caught up with her and passed her slowly, making my way up to the pace bunny who by now only had one guy running next to him, and a girl who looked like she was falling back. Indeed when I finally caught up with them, it felt like a relief. Moving up to get to them was some work indeed. In hindsight, I could have kept going, past them and perhaps broken that 1:40 mark, but I was content to stay where I was. Tucked in between the pace bunny and the guy next to him. Beside me, the only girl left was starting to fall back. She'd catch up with us and then fall back again. The water stop girl had since dropped back.

As we came up to 19K, I felt relaxed enough to join in on the conversation between the pace bunny, whose name is Neil, and the guy next to him. Managed to wriggle myself in between them and while we were chatting, the guy who was with us started to pull up ahead. Neil, the pace bunny, I found out was running a short distance due to injury. I believe he mentioned that he's done a few marathons before, but concentrates mostly on 5K's, 10K's and half marathons. He was planning on doing the Toronto waterfront marathon in October, but due to injury, might wait till November and run in the Hamilton marathon. I didn't even know that Hamilton had a marathon. Looks like a good one for me since it gives me over a month to get ready for it. Should be more than enough time to build up the mileage and strength. So I'll probably register in a couple of weeks for that one. Should be fun to drive out to Hamilton and run in unfamiliar territory. Neil's stride was absolutely comfortable. Looked very easy and relaxed. The kind of gait that I would like to have. Didn't look like he was running hard at all. In fact, looked like he wasn't going too fast, but being beside him, I know that he was pushing it fairly consistently. Helps to have a watch so that you know exactly where you are. I plan on getting one soon. I've never trained or run with a watch. Too much pressure, but I guess, knowing how fast or slow you're going helps you pace yourself and gives you that mental edge.

At this point in the race, approaching 20K I had tons of energy, but I'd learned all the lessons I needed to learn for today. Wouldn't make much sense in sprinting and gaining an extra minute, if at all. Finishing comfortably was the goal at this point and we even started encouraging runners to keep going. Some people were really tired, and even though the finish line was so close, couldn't manage to overtake and sprint to the finish. Miraculously, one of the girls we'd dropped appeared about 100 metres from the finish and caught up to us. Neil turned around, encouraging her to push on and run past, but in the end, she managed to finish just behind us. We actually all stepped on the mats simultaneously. Neil reach over to shake my hand, and I said "thanks!" The girl, who I later found out is called Teresa, also came over, she seemed really pleased with the run, shook my hand and said "congratulations." I congratulated her as well.

Lessons learned.

Keep to my game plan. I'm not an early sprinter, and my body needs to get acclimatised to the road. That takes a while for me and I shouldn't panic as I see people dash past. I should aim at starting the race at about halfway.

Pacing's important. It's absolutely important to know where you are in the race, if you're ahead, it gives you a boost, confidence that you'll make your goal. If you're behind, then you can calculate how to get back into the game slowly, given the distance you still have to go. It was comforting knowing at 15K that we were on track, especially since I felt good and strong. I knew that I could sustain the pace. Not knowing where you are you might tend to overrun, or under-run. But a targeted pace will keep you sane. I should buy a watch.

Slow and steady and relaxed wins the race. I remember watching some people as they passed me and thought, my gosh, that looks very uncomfortable. Shoulders pulled back, arms dangling oddly in front, like a t-Rex. Legs kinda shuffling along, not striding. But they were moving better than I was. Even though they didn't look fast, they were passing me and moving ahead. I should work on my stride since I found out that increasing my stride length worked for me. I could relax more than with shorter strides. This means that I will have to spend more time stretching so that I can get better range of motion.

Heading to the Oakville half marathon

Two days left to the Oakville half marathon. I did some hard training over the weekend, ran 32k on Saturday followed by another 32k on Sunday. The weather on Saturday was chilly and I caught a cold, I thought it was a flu. Sneezing, headache, runny nose and so on. I was so sick I couldn't get up and run on Monday morning. The plan, easing into the Oakville half, was to run Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Rest Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Well, with Monday blanking out, I ran on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday. The plan this time was to rest Friday and Saturday. But now, as I write this note, on Thursday evening, facing a rest day tomorrow, which is Friday, and Saturday, I feel that I only need one day of rest. Saturday should do it. After all, I'm used to packing 32k on Saturday, so this time I'd be packing 0k and then 21.1k on Sunday. Compared to the 64k I do on weekends, this is a walk in the park.

Am I addicted to running or what? Is this OK? Do I need to see a shrink or am I OK?

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Kenya

Continuing our exclusive Tonyleeks coverage of African corruption, this time we focus on Kenya. The golden child of Britain's colonial experiments in Africa, if you exclude South Africa, Kenya a diverse land with many different tribes has also suffered under the hands of its leaders.

Founding father

Kenya attained its independence from Britain in 1963 and a year later became a republic. The newly crowned Prime Minister and then President was none other than the man who'd been at the front of the political fight for freedom, Jomo Kenyatta. This is not to say that he was the most prominent agitator, but he was definitely the front line candidate when independence finally arrived, much like Nelson Mandela in South Africa. However, Kenyatta swiftly surrounded himself with his most trusted advisers, who happened to be close friends and relatives. Some members of his political party, KANU, who happened to be from different tribes were quickly marginalised and even imprisoned. In the 1950's the GDP per capita of Kenya was just under $1,000 which, at the time, was higher than South Korea's. By 1973, Kenya's GDP had just passed $1,000 and South Korea's was just under $3,000. Kenya had virtually stagnated and South Korea was growing. Why?

Moi

The problems in Kenya were started by Kenyatta, but it was Daniel Arap Moi who refined corruption to an art. Corruption in 80's Kenya was a fact of life. The administrators in government offices depended on hand-outs to perform jobs that they were paid to do. The policemen and women supplemented their wages with bribes. And, of course, the president himself, and his friends, awarded themselves with the most lucrative of contracts from donor countries. The World Bank at one time was Moi's bank, money coming in to the country, and into the Kenyan Central Bank was shuffled into his personal account.

Both Moi and Kenyatta snatched the best land in Kenya for themselves. But they were also careful to not keep their eggs in one basket and they invested heavily in the United States and Europe. It is said that Moi has buildings in Toronto of which he's a landlord. Like Zimbabwe's Mugabe, Moi and Kenyatta made sure that the assets were securely locked into family hands and when Kenyatta passed away, his wealth was safely transferred to his third wife, Mama Ngina, together with her children. Moi had done exactly the same, transferring assets and holdings to the names of his sons.

And so we come back to the same question, while all this is going on, what his happening to the common man? To the Kenyan on the street? Kenyatta should have known better. He was an academic and had studied in Britain (like Mugabe) and seen how the democratic process is an enabler for everyone. As an anthropologist he should have known that petty politics, the politics of feudalism doesn't work for the betterment of the entire society and that for a country to succeed, it must engage all of it's citizens. But his education didn't help, like Mugabe's, leads us to ask if there's something else at play here. It isn't the gullibility of the population, because they see it, or do they? The people, the Africans, they are unable to coalesce into a resistance unless things become unbearable. At that time, the wound is a festering boiling bulb with the puss ready to explode. Kenya almost reached that point in 1982. Zimbabwe obviously hasn't reached that point yet. Moi's case is particularly annoying since he obtained a country on a downward spiral, one that he could have stopped. Kenyatta received a country with infrastructure, a country with a small, but sizeable intellectual group. People who could have helped nourish the potential. Yet that didn't happen. And when Moi ascended to the throne, the roads continued to dilapidate, hospital services continued to decline, the birth rate in the country rose to be the highest in the world with a denser population of poor people. All the while, Moi was riding around in his state Mercedes and living in luxury. Amassing wealth in various countries and continuing on the legacy of oppression and economic decline.

Like Mugabe, Tonyleeks has learnt that Moi's election results were all rigged. Dead voters were resurrected from the grave to turn out en-mass to vote for Moi. Unlike his successor, Moi's rigging was plainly obvious. The running joke was "why bother? He's going to win anyway!"

There's absolutely no reason for any of the African countries, who won their independence in the early 60's to be so primitively backward. Unfortunately one cannot put such high hopes on the ruling class. When it came to the fight for independence, goals were clear, the agenda was set and everyone had the same vision. Once the country had been handed over, they stood around, staring blankly at each other, and wondering what to do with all this newly acquired wealth. And like pigs to the trough, they dove in and fed.

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Uganda

In this second article of a series on corruption in Africa, we discuss the case of Uganda's Idi Amin. The facts of Idi Amin's rule are mixed with fiction and fantasy. Much of what is talked about is exaggerated even though there is some truth to the atrocities he committed.

Idi Amin was a soldier in Uganda's army, having no more than a fourth grade education, he was intellectually challenged as a politician or a bureaucrat. He however managed to ascend to the rank of commander in chief of the Ugandan military with the assistance of the president, Milton Obote. It was from Obote that Amin took over power in a coup d'etat in 1971. The two were initially friends but fell out later.

It isn't known how many people were killed during Amin's rule. The numbers range from 80,000 at the low end to about 300,000. Idi Amin was indiscriminate in his killing. He killed political leaders, members of his own government, clergy, the chancellor of the university. Urged by his friend Moammar Gadhaffi, he expelled about 80,000 Asians from Uganda in the 70's as well. Many of them had only 72 hours to pack whatever little belongings they could pack and leave the country. Many of them had British passports and so ended up in Britain.

Insanity.

Idi Amin is an anomaly, mostly because he doesn't epitomise the intellectual African crook. Like Zimbabwe's Mugabe for instance. This is a solder who in his eight year reign did things that can only be described as absurd and which lead one to wonder where the people of sound mind were. It's like being led by an idiot and following the idiot's orders. He was the self styled, self declared leader who had the title "His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular." Now, one wonders, standing around, his ministers and other officials, on hearing this, if any one of them raised an eyebrow. He wasn't a recipient of the Victoria Cross (VC) and he didn't acquire any Distinguished Service Order (DSO). This is a man who titled himself the last king of Scotland. Who allegedly sent the queen of England a telex with the message: "Dear Liz, if you want to know a real man, come to Kampala." There are also rumours that he dismembered one of his wives and that he was a cannibal. He was a polygamist and it's rumoured that he killed the boyfriends of one of his wives in order to marry her. Idi is said to have fathered close to 40 children and even when he was in exile in Saudi Arabia, he was still marrying and fathering more children.

Is it then the African condition that we should take our leaders, good and bad, follow them without questioning their sanity. Here's a clear case of someone who should not even have had control of the army. In civilised society, where expansion of territory is now complete, and armies are there for defence, a military general needs skills both as a competent soldier as well as diplomacy. While Idi was a competent soldier, it is clear that he was closer to being an animal than a human being.

Idi Amin was eventually overthrown. He spent a little time in the protection of his friend Gadhaffi and then under the hospitality of the Saudi Arabian government in Jeddah. At some time in the late 80's he tried to return to Uganda, but was repelled from Zaire. It's hard to imagine that he had supporters in Uganda, given all the news.

It's not clear if Idi Amin amassed any wealth for himself. His personality suggests that he surrounded himself with people of similar characteristics. He wasn't an intellectual and he would not have known how to plan for the long term. It's amazing that at one point, he was elected as the head of the Organisation of African Unity (OAU). The fact that he had diplomatic ties with African countries isn't difficult to understand given the continent's appetite for despotism. However, only Libya was open as an asylum at his time of need. Relations with Tanzania had broken down to war and Kenya had a permanent army at the Kenya-Uganda border.

Lessons learned.

The Ugandan economy suffered greatly during Idi's reign. After he expelled the Asians from the country, the industries that they ran fell into mismanagement and eventually collapsed. The Ugandan shilling lost all it's value and Kampala fell into disrepair. Many of Idi's top officials also escaped for fear of their lives. Some went into neighbouring Kenya and others ended up in Britain. Control of the army gave Idi strength. An army is trained not to think, but to follow orders. Many of the soldiers in the U.S. or British army do the same. They are commanded to go to war and they follow orders. In much the same case, Uganda's army was commanded to follow Idi's orders. Where they failed was in turning their might on their own people. The police force of a country keep law and order. An army is supposed to look for external threats. In Africa, there are very few cases where an army general transitions into a successful president. It almost never happens. The qualifications simply aren't there. Can you blame the African people for not reacting to the oppression? Perhaps the common person, too far away from where the decisions are being made, cannot do anything. However, the cluster of authority, those close to Amin, those who carried out his orders, in fact supported and advised him must be blamed. Amin didn't act alone. He was supported in his insanity,

Tonyleeks - Corruption in Africa: Zimbabwe

This is a Tonyleeks special on corruption. We'll be exposing current leaders who have abused their authority with flagrant flamboyant spending, misuse of public assets and a complete disregard for the rule of law. Tonyleeks will describe in annoying detail the things that you perhaps know, but were afraid to ask.

Zimbabwe.

A lot has been said about corruption in Africa and right here, a Tonyleeks exclusive special, we're about to reveal some of the things you may not know. We speculate, we often joke about, we continually ramble on and broach the subject, never delving into it, the cause and effect of corruption in Africa and while we continue to talk about it, never actually doing anything to stop it, it continues to erode the continent.

Zimbabwe. I remember when Zimbabwe got its independence from Britain, the colonial masters. It was in 1980 and I was old enough to have political sensibilities, even though I was still in high school. A then very young Robert Mugabe took over a country that was brimming with potential. A country that had been built no less on the backs of the African majority to the benefit of the European minority. Much like South Africa, Kenya, Uganda and most of the African nations. Mugabe was young and bright and exhibited many of the qualities of tomorrow's African elite. The leader of leaders. He was the one that was going to show the independent nations of Africa how an African country should be run.

Headquarters in Harare, he began to systematically tear down the country. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely and Mugabe wasn't above that rule. When campaigning for independence, Mugabe was the man of the people. In a few short years, he became the man of himself and his family.

Giving land to his friends and family, many of who couldn't farm, introducing corrupt land distribution (also known as land reform) policies that made sure that productive white people were forcibly removed from their land started the country in a downward spiral.

It's not difficult to imagine that sooner or later, he'd have to start borrowing money from the international community. That sooner or later, Zimbabwe would join a host of other African nations that cannot feed themselves. A beautiful country of just over 13 million people, who many refer to as the heart of Africa, with beautiful rain forests, and voluminous waterfalls a hard working population that historically built the city of Great Zimbabwe, to be reduced by a handful of neocolonialists  to starvation and third world destitution is tragic. More than tragic, this is senseless and shows that the selfish agenda of despotic African leaders is more to blame than the history of colonialism.

Without a doubt, Mugabe has pocketed millions, if not billions, of donor aid money. He's enjoyed a privileged lifestyle while his people have become increasingly destitute. He owns a number of homes, many of them overseas. Enjoys privileges exceeding those of the wealthy in developed countries mostly supported on the labour of the people he promised freedom from oppression. Many of his country men and women are no better today than they were during colonial times. Many of them are far worse off. Of course, independence has worked in favour of Mugabe and his close friends.

Tonyleeks has also learned that Mugabe's wealth is not entirely contained in Zimbabwean assets. He also holds title deeds in Europe and North America. In fact, it's arguable that most of his assets are outside Africa. The question as to how those assets were funded is shrouded in creative accounting the likes of which some of the larger consulting companies are used to. Mobutu Sese Seko, Kamuzu Banda, Jomo Kenyatta, Arap Moi, Idi Amin, Patrice Lumumba, Jerry Rawlings, Ghadaffi and a list too long to mention have intimate partnerships with the Pricewaterhouses, the KPMG's, Delloite and Touche's and Dunwoody's of this world. In order to squirrel away large sums of money it's inevitable to associate with unsavoury types who understand the financial world and are versed in the science of laundering to make illicit activities appear somewhat legal. Al Capone, known mostly for the gangster violence in prohibitionist Chicago was finally captured due to an error in Federal tax calculation. Al apparently wasn't paying attention to his income tax returns, and quite rightly so, since it would have been very difficult to submit exorbitant income statements and escape an audit from the Internal Revenue Service of the United States government.

But Mugabe doesn't require creative actuaries or, for that matter, actuaries or accountants. The money that he has obtained is a salary, base pay, for services rendered to the people of Zimbabwe, most of it accounted for through government expenses since he doesn't have to pay for his meals, his transportation, his accommodations since these are all charged to the people he serves. And this makes sense. You wouldn't expect to send an envoy to represent you without providing them with transportation, meals and shelter. Likewise, Mugabe's stand is that he has this huge responsibility of leadership, chosen by the people, and so they are paying for his leadership.

And so while the cost of running Zimbabwe is high, and the results are clearly not visible, the question that remains to be answered is whether or not the formula that Mugabe is using is an equitable one. Is his governance fair? Is he elevating the status of the common man, woman, child and creating an environment that fosters the betterment of everyone?

So far the results do not show this. Of late, Tonyleeks has uncovered reports of abuse leading to death of Zimbabweans who are against government politics. Dissent is frowned upon in modern Zimbabwe. Once upon a time, the common person could raise his or her voice and the sound of that criticism would be welcome. Mugabe, the greatest critic, was able to win his argument with the British and kick them out of Zimbabwe. But now that the voices of dissent have turned on to his government, those voices are no longer welcome. Sadly, a number of reports from the field indicate that heightened poverty leaves the citizens with no choice. Especially in cases where land is an issue. Peasants chased off their land that Mugabe wants to allocate to his cronies often find themselves on the wrong side of the law. In such cases, having no voice, no visibility to the International community, their disappearance isn't even noticed.

Mugabe is the first African president of Zimbabwe. He ascended to presidency on independence and as of this writing, 2011, he is still the leader of the country. He was born on the 21st of February in 1924 which would make him 87 today. Like many dictators, he does not see an end to his presidency and his failing health is becoming much more prominent on national television. He is not the same man who took over power at the age of 55. Definitely, 32 years of ruling isn't the issue. There have been monarchs and other leaders who have ruled as long, but showing no progress, in fact, leading a country to ruination requires fortitude and presence of mind to step down. Stepping down isn't in the interest of Mugabe and Mugabe does only what's best for Mugabe. He's shown time and time again that he only pays lip service to the people he supposedly represents. Making the tough decisions isn't something that he's likely to do right now.

Mugabe is therefore a prime example of an incompetent African leader. He will go down in the annals of history as the man who principally destroyed Zimbabwe who took a country full of hope and destroyed its productivity, much like Idi Amin of Uganda and Arap Moi of Kenya. A sad example of why the western, primarily European, world looks to Africa, shakes their collective heads, and sighs at the inability of Africans to govern themselves. In the latter part of 2000, a movie about a land conflict was created, Mugabe and the White African (http://www.mugabeandthewhiteafrican.com/). A story of one White Zimbabweans struggle to keep land that he had purchased from the government. There isn't a happy ending in that story, however, it is typical of the struggle that many Zimbabweans face in trying to succeed against insurmountable odds. Left to Mugabe and his cronies, the country will be destitute within a decade.

And like the motto of the movie, if good men do nothing, evil will prevail.

I Love LSD!

Long Slow Distance!!! and not the psychedelic drug Lysergic acid dyethylamide. Yeah, I had to look that up. LSD is the best way to train injury free. It's worked well for Ed Whitlock, now in his early seventies, and running really well.

Normal distance running training is difficult. Even Haile Gebrselassie, on retirement after not being able to complete the 2010 New York Marathon said the phrase hard training a number of times. Paul Tergat, a marathon legend also talks about the extremely dedicated hard work they do to prepare for endurance runs. And there's nothing wrong with hard, tough training. Except, at a certain point in time, when your body can no longer take it, when you're weary of the hard training and recovery from injury takes longer, then most distance athletes stop. Not slow down, they stop. Training ends, competition ends, and life slows down.

But for those of us that have chosen running as a lifestyle and not as a career with an end-date, then running is something that you do comfortably and enjoyably, like eating, strolling, enjoying time off and relaxing.

And those benefits come with LSD!

Long

Get outside, spend some time. Quality time. Have time, don't be in a rush. Like the clock above, the hands have been stripped off. You're not watching the clock because you have all the time in the world. Nothing is rushing you back. You've dedicated at least an hour, better two, to be outside with yourself.

Slow

Take your time. Don't exert yourself. Well, don't over-exert yourself. It's breezy and calm. You move easily and slowly, carefully and consciously putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling and remembering each step, to slow yourself even further. Imagine yourself slowing down, like the six million dollar man, in slow motion. You're barely breathing because it's so simple and slow. You feel weightless.

Distance

Go far. Don't worry about how far you are away. Long mileage. 10 K is for beginners, you tell yourself. You're used to chewing up the road. You're invincible. Your slow gait, your upright poise, step after step after step, moving purposely forward, further away, time slows down to a stop and everything around you stops moving, but you're surging ahead. You're not calculating the distance, but well aware of how far you've travelled. You know how far away you are and keep moving further. Life is motion and motion means moving ahead. Moving further and further away. Don't stop till you have to when you're completely spent. The tank is empty but not painfully so. Run far.

Running shoe closet

You know you're a runner when you're retired shoe closet looks like this:

Dress shoes normally end up in the garbage but running shoes can be donated. My running shoes normally still have some life left in them for walking about.

Running shoes

How long should you run before you retire your running shoes? A Google search for this returns numbers between 200 miles and 500 miles. Some people are running up to 800 miles on the same shoes. In kilometres that's approximately 400 Km to 800 Km. 800 miles is almost 1300 Km.

These shoes just finished 650 Km. They're done!

The shoe on the left was beginning to tear near the top. They still felt comfortable, bouncy, and I'm sure they could have done an additional 100 Km, but their time is up!

I read an article somewhere about this, the author said that the distance would also depend on the runner. The heavier you are, then the shorter the life of the shoe. In addition to that, there was a post I saw where the writer advises on buying two pairs of shoes. Using one of them more frequently and when it starts to feel off then you can replace it. In the buy more than one shoe category there's this notion that the shoe takes time to recover. The moulded cushioning provided by the shoe compresses after a workout. This needs between 24 to 48 hours to recover -- according to this source. Sounds logical, but I've worn the same shoe every morning for 650 Km without much of a problem. I used to have two shoes and alternate them and I might do that in the winter. The main problem in the winter is wet shoes and drying out definitely takes longer than a day.

Those shoes were replaced with these ones:

Same model, different colour. The last one had that green trim thing happening, this one's blue. Blue's definitely my colour though I was hoping to get yellow or red this time around. After all, I'm now comfortable running in red and orange tops.

So for me, I'll switch shoes close to the 600 Km mark. 700 Km is the outer limit but I should start looking for shoes once I reach about 550 Km. With my weekly 134 Km dosage it doesn't take long to go through running shoes.

Finding your voice: Part 10 of 10

We're here. The last titbit of advice that I can offer. Ten's a good number. Like George Carlin once remarked about the 10 commandments, they really did not need 10. Two was all they needed. Moses could have stuck them in his f*****g pocket. The quintessential Carlin!

And with that in mind, this last item has little to do with writing, per-Se, and more to do with you! It somewhat ties on to what we said in Part 9, that life is short and you should be busy just noting things down and putting them down on paper. And so for Part 10, it's all about you congratulating yourself. You have to have an attitude befit a writer. Think of yourself as a writer and you will become one. Think of yourself as a failure, and your mind will turn that image also into a reality. It isn't easy. If it was easy then everyone would be doing it. But they aren't because it isn't easy. Even those who have been trained formally to compose, organise and write aren't writing. It's easy to take direction from someone else. Especially for money. But when you are driven to do it for yourself, it isn't that easy. And so for that reason only, you should congratulate yourself for being brave enough to sit down and write.

Like Les Brown said, whatever is your passion, that thing in your life that you were given to do, do it with all your might. If you are a singer, and cannot sing, sing even if nobody will listen to you. If you are a writer, with the urge, the deep desire to write, write, even if nobody will read what you've written. After all, that running dialogue in your head is all yours. It's personal and keeps going without an audience except you.

It isn't easy. When running marathons, I sometimes come across someone holding a poster, a sign that reads, if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. That's the truth. That is the absolute truth. Writing takes physical effort. You have to devote time that you might otherwise be engaged in a different activity to do, but you choose to write. You find that time because it's what you want to do. Life can be nothing but pleasure. Drinking beer and watching movies. And in that life, you're simply a spectator. In that life, you aren't living, but life is living through you. You aren't in charge. You're just waiting. Waiting for the sun to rise so that you can go to work and be told what to do. Waiting for the bell to ring so that you can go back home to the beer and television.

I'm being a bit harsh, but in this life, you do have some options and that is to participate. Your participation will come at the cost of sacrificing other pleasures. While your friends are out on a Friday night enjoying cold beverages, you'll be quiet, sitting alone perhaps, inside your head having a discussion with yourself about mausoleums. Perhaps it's about technology and androids. Perhaps it's about fossil fuels, the dinosaurs and the corruption of big business. You'll have these wonderful debates, just you and you without the interference of other people.

The writing life is a solitary life. It isn't easy and so congratulate yourself. Give yourself the props! Give yourself a big pat on the back and know that you are singularly what a lot of people would find very difficult to do. Granted, there are a lot of writers. Look at the bookshelves lining the libraries, or the bookstores and you'll see that you're not the only one. The stuff that writers do is in demand. People want to read, they want to read to better themselves. In each book that they turn to, they hope to find out something more about themselves. Not consciously, but subconsciously, there's a learning experience even from the most mundane murder mystery. And so your life too, uninteresting though it might be to you, has crumbs that others can feed from.

If you can set aside some time for yourself, it also shows that you are committed to taking charge of your life and not simply sitting by and following. The rest of the day may be taken by your responsibilities, your duties as a mother, as a father, as an employee, as a friend, but in that melee of moving through life, you should find some time for yourself. Like sleeping or eating and exercise. All things that you do to enrich the quality of your life, writing is also one of them.

Writing goes hand-in-hand with reading, and so consume books. Learn from successful authors. There is no formula here but you should read a lot. Read, digest and get down to the business of writing. I haven't gotten to the point of saying how much writing you should do. Early in these posts, I hinted that time was more important than quantity and I still believe that. Spending the time seems to be the biggest hurdle and so if you spend the time and only glean out one paragraph of fifty words, then so be it. There are authors who commit to writing for at least a couple of hours a day. Perhaps you cannot find that time. You can only steal fifteen minutes at a time. It's difficult to get into the groove in fifteen minutes. It's tough to remember where you were and go from there and that's why writing practise is so important. Starting by just yammering on a page stuff that's going on in your head. Not worrying about structure or even content. But if you can find an hour, in the evening or in the morning or even at noon, then that's great. Some days will be very productive, others not so. On both productive and non-productive days, give yourself props for having tried. To be cliché, it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. It is always, always, better to have tried to write and failed, than to never have written at all.

And with that we summarise our ten points.

1. Pay attention to that voice in your head. Listen to what it's saying. Don't be critical. Allow it to express those dark fears and say whatever it wants to say in whatever language. Allow it to give up if it feels like.
2. Write down what you hear. Write down the words without editing and without judging. See the images clearly and note them down too. Don't be worried about grammar or consistency. Just hear and write. Be automatic and keep going. Don't re-read what you've heard, just write.
3. Get to the point where you can finish complete thoughts. Set time limits. Hear something from your head and then write it. Try your best to complete the thought. If you can't, that's OK, that's still part of the training but as you continue to learn, you will want to get to the point where that voice in your head that has expressed something concrete needs to be concretely written.
4. Exaggerate. Go ahead and give yourself license to write the unimaginable and the unintelligible. Sometimes the thought in your head just can't be sanely articulated. The way the cat looks at you, you can almost hear the words coming out of it's mouth. Telepathic communication with the dog. The room asking you to get out, the grass that's parched.
5. Along with Part 4, throw everything in the mixer and put stuff in unusual circumstances. You're no longer on planet earth where gravity confines you to solid ground. Rather, you can float in the air and fly to the south pole where you can have tea with the penguins.
6. Fight distractions by writing about them. Sometimes you're stuck and cannot move on and so you switch to your writing practise journal and describe that particular distraction. Do this for a solid fifteen minutes at least to see if it will go away. Fight the urge to get up and do something. Keep at the desk and look over the words you've written to see if they'll jump out.
7. Find time to write. Don't look for the perfect time, the perfect spot, the perfect ambiance. It isn't there. Just find a spot and sit down and write. That might even be in the lobby of an airport, the lobby of your dentist. It will mostly be in your house, possibly at the kitchen table or in your den. Don't imagine that perfect writers desk, made of oak, by the window by the sea. Don't wait till you've taken an writing vacation to write. Write all the time when you feel like it.
8. Give real distractions their due. If you're really tired, and you've been at it for a significant amount of time, then take that fifteen minute break. Better still, take a break by writing about something else just to keep yourself in the mood. Sometimes, if you're writing a novel, and you've been thinking about this character for some time, you need a break from them. Go ahead, ramble on about something else in your writing practise journal. That will be a good break. The words flow easily in that journal. Switching from one topic to another is an excellent way to take a break, better than getting up.
9. Life is short. Don't wait to write till you think you have the perfect plot. Don't look for the perfect spot to dig, just find a shovel and start digging. While you're digging, you're gaining digging experience. You'll learn a lot more by doing than by waiting. Life won't wait for you, it will continue without you. Time doesn't wait for anyone. The good comes and so does the bad, take them both. Worry about not writing instead of writing something bad. Write bad stuff from time to time if you think it will free you from that fear. Face your fears kind of thing. But life is short, so write!
10. Congratulate yourself each time you see an achievement. Don't overdo it, just a nod in the mirror and a pat on the back. If it was easy, then everyone would do it. Write that on a card and put it somewhere where you can see it every time. If it were easy, then everyone would be doing it. But it isn't and you're one of the chosen few. Be happy that you can sit quietly and pen down the things that are in your head. It's nerve racking to expose your mind and you'll face criticism, but that's OK. After all, life is short and we too will expire. So be happy, give thanks, and admire your achievements.

So go forth, open that writing practise journal and try to fill in a few pages each day.

Finding your voice: Part 9 of 10

We're almost done. We'll recap everything in the last post and I'm hoping that the simple advice on what to do has somehow filtered through practically. Practical advice is hard to give. Like telling the worried mother to stop worrying. Great advice it may be, but how? These posts on finding your voice have focussed on one thing primarily, and that's the way you see the world by the voice that is your companion in your head. That voice rambles on tirelessly all day making judgements about the things you see with your eyes, the smells around you, the voices and sounds you hear and the things you touch. That voice is confident in its statements, bold in its obstinacy. It doesn't face criticism most of the time unless you let it out. At those times, when you write something and someone criticises it, you are likely to sulk. Your thoughts are filled with defeatism, and you're less likely to be bold in your next attempt.

But that doesn't stop the inner voice, it continues and even when you sleep, it continues to assault you with a biased, unedited, review of the day, embellished with commentary that you didn't ask for. It presents the situations where you were weak and gives you advice on how you could have performed better. Sometimes it doesn't seem like that voice is on your side, but it is. It's your friend, it's trying to help you make you a better person, but oh, don't let it out or you'll be attacked again!

So my advice, in this Part 9, is that life is short. Really short. Wasting time on self pity, self abasement, inactivity due to unseen obstacles, isn't really positive. You can't do too much harm in writing. You can be criticised and you will be, but at the end of the day, the impact of that criticism is deserved on a number of levels. It was you that wrote that and not writing it doesn't make it less true that you believe it. The only difference is that now, the world knows.

There's no time to waste in feeling disappointed in not writing, write. There's no time to be critical about producing your best work and therefore producing none. Produce good works and bad ones. Produce insanely great sentences and massively boring ones. Write clever and inspirational thoughts and idiotic and nonsensical ones. Mix and match and keep going. Keep the critics employed, after all, they've got nothing else to do. It takes great courage to expose your thoughts in the face of certain criticism, no matter what topic you choose. If you choose to reflect on humanity and bring forth your ideas on racial separation, expect to be hit with a torrent of negativity. If you fantasise about angels and demons and compare them to the religious icons of the day, expect to have some bad press. If you write about vampires and life sucking demons, then publicists might relegate your books to the horror and fiction section for adults over eighteen. That thing you thought was a children's story, it aint!

Write mainly because you want to get better and because the more you write, the better you'll become. The more you run the stronger you become. It doesn't happen overnight. The first time you venture out you might make a few metres and stop puffing and panting. In your minds eye, you can already see yourself prancing like an antelope, moving effortlessly and gracefully. You're the epitome of fitness. Your mind isn't very practical, but it's amazingly good at seeing into the future. It know, unlike your body, that if you keep jogging everyday, then those changes will happen. You will get stronger, you will get better and you will be able to do what's in your mind's eye. It doesn't happen overnight. And the more you write, the better you get. Like running, you'll probably be disappointed with the initial attempts. That doesn't sound much like John Grisham or Jeffery Deaver (two of my favourites). And you're right, it doesn't and it never will. Your mind will create you but you need to get that stuff out of your head onto paper so that you can see it. The more you see it on paper, the better you'll be at being able to shape it.

Get it out of your head onto paper.

Write like your life depended on it. Write everyday, like you only had a few more minutes to spare. Get to a point where you consider it finished, put it aside, and move on to the next project. Some pieces you won't like. But if you don't continue writing, you won't get better. You must learn to take the good with the bad. A bit of both goes a long way. I have my favourite authors but not all their books are that good. I loved Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose but I find his other books too academic. Too verbose and focussed on minutia. They're dense and take a long time for me to read. I learn a lot, but connecting the dots take a while. But that's what he is, a professor of semiotics. A man who studies words, linguistics and language for a living. This is a man who could write an entire novel on the word "and." Stephen King too has his moments for me. His early books were fast and enjoyable. Fun books for me to read. Then the books took on an epic air. Large volumes. Pages on detail and he began to lose me. As you can tell, my ability for sustained concentration is very limited. Like most readers, I expect them to connect a few of the dots. Fill in some of the story themselves so that I don't have to describe absolutely everything.

Write, publish then move on. Life is short, time is of the essence, you have things to say, you cannot afford to wait for the perfect sentence, just say what's on your mind right now, and even if it doesn't look right, move on to something else.

You'll only get better with time and practice.

Finding your voice: Part 8 of 10

Here we are. Three more to go and I hope by now you're convinced that this method really works. Your mind is a well of writing material, entertaining and serious. There are obstacles along the way that stop you from putting down words on paper, but these can be overcome. Your voice is singularly yours and you shouldn't be frightened of seeing it on paper. Sometimes you might be disappointed in the things you write, but sometimes you'll surprise yourself and say, "hey, that's not bad!"

Let's summarise what we've said so far.

• Listen to that voice in your head continuously rambling on and on.
• Write down what you're hearing, don't edit, don't stop, just keep the voice active and speaking. Even if it veers off to the left, try to keep in step. If you fall behind, take a giant leap, stop where you were and continue with the voice so that you can keep going.
• Finish the thought, do it quickly because the next one's coming up. When you look up from the page, a new thought arrives and you'll have to deal with that. But after you've done step 1 and 2 for a while, you'll get comfortable finishing things off.
• Be weird and wacky. Horses talk, in horse language. Bees seem to plan their attack and sometimes you'll see the cat sitting in front of the television, watching and taking mental notes.
• Give yourself license to exaggerate. Put stuff in the writing that doesn't exist in reality, after all, it's your thought as long as you aren't being too serious about it.
• Along with exaggeration, contemplate, dream and think up unusual circumstances. This is very much like the fifth point, but it's really key to keeping yourself motivated in your writing. Part's 5 and 6 ask you to go outside the box. Dream, exaggerate and then move that exaggeration into outer space. The way I think about it is, the talking horse is exaggeration, the talking horse as the captain of flight 719 to London is the unusual combination.
• There is no perfect setting for writing. You should not look for the perfect time, the perfect location, just a place to sit quietly. Don't turn on the television and as much as possible, turn down the music. Recognise that you do get fatigued and discuss that fatigue by breaking into a writing practise. Start the novel in the middle, write parts back and forth if that's the way to get going. Sooner or later, you'll realise that an outline will allow you to track your path, but that's not important till you get going.

So here we are at Part 8, and in this part we continue to fight those demons that won't let us continue writing. Those urges to go get a drink of water or go for a cigarette, a drink of wine, or a stroll. Those things we call distractions that we identified in Part 7. In that section, I encouraged you to identify them and to discuss them in writing. In this section, we acknowledge them and let them have a bit of control. There will be circumstances where you will get up and go away. Smokers will find it difficult to keep to the page while they're urged to go outside for a smoke. And so after we've been through the advice of part 7, we've analysed our distraction and found that we can commit to a distraction, we give in and make a pact with ourselves to continue. As you can see, this isn't boot camp for writing. This isn't the perfect writing school that will make you churn out novels every three months, but acknowledging that you are tired and truly need a break is one of those things that's very difficult to determine. Do I really need a break or am I struggling with the writing? If I'm struggling with the writing then it's time for a practise exercise. That's as good as a break but it keeps you on top of things. But if you're truly tired, then use a timed break.

Many of us have regular jobs. We show up at nine in the morning, or eight, and work our seven, eight or nine hour shift. That work is predetermined and we are expected to behave a certain way and produce certain things. We have a job description that lays out what we should be doing. Our writing life isn't like that. It's more of a hobby, not serious enough to be considered a vocation unless you are writing for a living, which means that your writing alone makes you money. At work we have breaks and lunch at which time we down tools and go off for a break. At work we can tell how far ahead we are with specific tasks and how far we have left to go. Our writing lives aren't like that. We can procrastinate forever. We turn forty and swear that by the time we hit forty-five we'll have that grand novel published. But forty-one, forty-two and forty-three slip by without anxiety because we know that forty-five is still a couple of years away and that once inspiration hits, boy, watch out world!

But if we are to be serious about our lives, that we write not because someone else tells us to, like in a job, but we write because we must or we die, then we need to create a job description for our writing lives, complete with the recognition of distractions. It is this job description that makes us sit down for those five minutes and write something down, no matter how good or bad it is. No matter how we feel at the time. No matter how rushed we are. We sit down because we're on the job.  And an amazing thing happens when we do that. If we follow the writing practise method, it ceases being a chore to get started, but rather becomes a happy obsession. You are happy continuing. It's starting that's always a problem, going on isn't until you hit that distraction. And if you obey the instruction in Part 7, and discuss it in a quick practise exercise, and have your job description that says you will write for fifteen minutes, then this step urges you to step away. Put the pen down. Stop typing, and think and look and imagine and relax. Take time to yourself. If you must leave the desk, if you really, really must, because you've been there too long, then give yourself a time limit. We all must have bathroom breaks and walk breaks, a drink of water, a stretch and sometimes these things take over the rest of the day. You should have a way to go back to the writing.

Make a pact with yourself to accomplish a few more lines and then stop if the urge to step away becomes too great. Give yourself a job description, it works for your professional life, it will work for your writing life too.

Finding your voice: Part 7 of 10

In the last section we touched on the issue of distractions. You're writing and you run out of creativity, you no longer feel inspired and want to quit. Or you're writing and something else, something more interesting comes to mind. Something that you'd rather be doing than writing. Distractions make you step away from your writing.

In this section, we're going to address the big topic. The mother of all topics. This is it ladies and gentlemen, the reason why that great Canadian novel, or the great American novel or the great Kenyan novel or the super humongous greatest of all time novel hasn't been started. Well, there are a couple of reasons, but one of the big ones is TIME. Where do you find the time? The commitment part.

To write that great novel, that essay, get those thoughts out of your head onto paper, you need to write. It's that simple. If you write a word each day, then at the end of the year, you've written 365 words! If you write ten words a day, you've written 3,650 words at the end of the year. And if, by superhuman effort, you write a single page, that's roughly 300 words on a page, then at the end of the year, you've written down 109,500 words. That's a novel. Writing a page is a big deal, most people can't find the time to do it, but if you can, and go beyond, you can see how novelist can write a novel in three to six months. It takes time.

It takes time.

You need to find the time and not worry about the setting. And this is the problem. Most of us that aspire to write, will look for the perfect setting before they pen down a single word. A desk by the window, with writing materials or laptop arranged perfectly, writing chair comfortable, oak writing desk and the perfect ambiance. And there's always something not quite right with the setting. Something's always off. The light just isn't right. Oops, I just heard the phone ring. I forgot I promised to run to the store and stock the pantry before the end of the day. Maybe I will run out of paper, I seem to only have a hundred sheets and I intend to really rock today, after all, this is the great novel about to start. Or something like, the start isn't ready yet. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, and when I put words on paper, I want them to rock! This has got to be the work of genius, the writing of a lifetime. So, I'm just going to let the story reveal itself to me, it will let me know when it's ready to be written.

And so we need to abolish two preconceived ideas here:

• Every setting is a writing setting.
• Write something, anything, while you wait for the great novel to reveal itself.

Like anything, getting into the groove means that you've started. Athletes will tell you, the race started really badly but by the time I rounded the corner, I'd settled down. It took starting the race and getting to the corner for that to happen. Ignore the opening. If you don't have an opening, imagine starting with the action, the stuff that you want to write. Your character is already in the vault, had managed to bypass the bank's security systems and they're drilling as quietly as possible through six inches of tempered steel to get to the gold bars. Or, the kidnapper already has his quarry, don't need to worry about how he got here, but he's in the barn, and his captives are all tied up. The young lady had already slipped a bobby pin in her hand and is slowly hacking at her restraints. The kidnapper needs to go to the washroom, and here's your opening.

And if you get tired of that, move off somewhere else. Do a little writing practice to get you into the groove. But don't not start. And even if you're sitting in front of the television, a bad idea to begin with, if your journal's close by, you can start. You can type something in your computer. Go into your bedroom, sit down, type a few words.

Don't occupy your entire life struggling to find time, but when you are home, or near your writing materials, and have five minutes, then spend that five minutes writing. You'll find that if you start with the practice, you'll flow quickly into the novel.

Finding your voice: Part 6 of 10

By now you're used to just letting words rip off your keyboard, or pen, and onto the screen, or journal, without much thought. That's great. In the past few exercises, we talk a lot about just moving around your mind. Not worrying too much about what's coming, surprising yourself by just letting your mind say things. You hear distractions outside and your mind switches to them and your hand also switches to the distractions quickly.

In Parts 4 and 5 we added that element of the unusual. Exaggerate. Add stuff that you wouldn't normally find next to each other. Yes, the horse that looks at you and give you the evil eye at the grocery store. Juan Valdez's burro enticing you to buy Columbian coffee. Your hammer toes and their gnarled toe nails. But you eventually reach a point where you need to step away. The electric signals that form thought, that create images in your mind are seemingly tireless. You can close your eyes and stay that way without too much fatigue. But your hand isn't like that. Eventually your mind says, "hey, you're way too slow, I need to move a little faster," and the frustration sets in. You will get fatigued and your hand will stop. All of a sudden, a drink of water isn't a bad idea. You probably need one anyway, but the urgency is now immediate. You need to stretch also. You need to turn your eyes on something else. The television beckons. The phone is saying, "hey, you haven't spoken to John in a while," all the distractions are coming at you full force and you can't seem to slow them down.

In this Part we learn how to deal with them. The main idea in practising to keep your hand on the paper, to keep going, to keep typing, is so that you get used to seeing your voice on paper. So at this time, the new technique is timing. Take note of the distraction and write about it for a few minutes. OK, it's the fatigue, well, this is really something that's going on in your mind so you shouldn't ignore it. So argue with it. It's the thirst? Say something about how you really should be writing, but you feel that it's time for a break. A thirst break, after all, our bodies are 70% water and we need to maintain that balance. Take a look at your watch and determine that you're going to stay put for the next fifteen minutes. Not five, not ten. But fifteen. This is a magical number with magical powers. In fifteen minutes, you'll get rid of the argument. A five minute discussion with yourself isn't strong enough. But after ten minutes you'll have analysed the need to walk away quite well. Say, like me, you're in the library. You're typing away and you can see people all around you. You feel that you should, like I do, go over to the stacks and pick out a book. Something to change direction. This is an excuse to get off the current topic. You're bored. At this time, discuss the type of book you think you should be going to get and why you think you should be going to get it. Write about this for a while. Check your watch and then after fifteen minutes, see if you still need to get up. Chances are you won't feel that way. Chances are you'll be right back to the writing having argued yourself out of going to get that book. It's the same with a glass of water, although this one's a bit tougher. There are instances where your body's telling you something real and you should get up and get that drink.

If you were in the middle of writing that novel, it's a good idea to have your writing practice book nearby. In my case, I write on the computer so my writing practise book is a document. When I draw blanks and my mind wanders and I can't go on, I'm fighting my character who doesn't want to entertain me, well, I switch to that writing practise document and discuss this particular deadlock. It's almost like creating an outline for the next step. What is going on? Why can't I move? What should this person be doing? What else is going on. And on and on and on and on I go till finally, I begin to understand something and it's almost resolved.

The fatigue of writing can also stop you from being productive. If you write with pen and paper, your hand does get tired after a while and so Natalie Goldberg advises keeping those writing practices short. Ten minutes, fifteen minutes or twenty minutes. Some can go on for an hour if you so feel. I can type for about fifteen minutes before I have to stop. That's because I type quite quickly and so after fifteen minutes my hand's tired. My brains still going, but my hand needs a break. So I stop. Consciously. Down tools and look at what I've done. Not all the time, but sometimes I'll re-read what I just wrote. This isn't necessary because I've scared myself often with the gobledegook that's on screen. Sometimes I don't even understand it. Words collated from my brain onto paper and they just don't make sense. But I've noticed one thing. They normally have to do with my emotional state. If I've come back from a run and I'm resting, I analyse the run and think about it. If I'm in the library, I'm more contemplative. At those times I'm apt to write longer and about nonsensical philosophical subjects. If I'm at home, it's in the evening and I'm literally brain dead, then my typing is slow and I'm wondering about my surroundings.

In conclusion, when you feel that fatigue set in, stop and identify the source of the fatigue. Time yourself for fifteen minutes to write about it in your journal. Keep a bottle or glass of water handy, next to you so that you can continually stay hydrated. Coffee's OK, but water's better. And don't re-read what you've done if you can help it. Just keep going and let the words come as they may.

Finding your voice: Part 5 of 10

The list so far:

• Listen to that voice in your head continuously rambling on and on.
• Write down what you're hearing, don't edit, don't stop, just keep the voice active and speaking. Even if it veers off to the left, try to keep in step. If you fall behind, take a giant leap, stop where you were and continue with the voice so that you can keep going.
• Finish the thought, do it quickly because the next one's coming up. When you look up from the page, a new thought arrives and you'll have to deal with that. But after you've done step 1 and 2 for a while, you'll get comfortable finishing things off.
• Be weird and wacky. Horses talk, in horse language. Bees seem to plan their attack and sometimes you'll see the cat sitting in front of the television, watching and taking mental notes.

And this fifth point continues from the wild and wacky and asks you to exaggerate. Now this should be easy. Sometimes when we're dreaming, we see ourselves up on that stage, the world's chanting our name, "tony! tony! tony!," they just can't get enough of us! The show's over and the limo arrives, right on stage, from the sky, lowered by a thin strand held by an invisible spider's claw. Amid smoke you get in, the wire disengages itself, the car hovers, the wheels retract like the amphibious car in James Bond's movie, and it takes off into space. The sky opens up and you're in deep space.

You're normally imaginative in your head, there's stuff there that's singularly yours. Nobody else's in there and you can entertain yourself for brief moments. Sometimes you need the inspiration of a line, a headline, a story you've just read. This afternoon, I read about a young university student who'd fallen off the barrier at Niagara falls. She was posing for a photograph and when she got up to get off, lost her footing and slipped into the water. There were a ton of people watching. I think she's dead, but don't know since the search was still on. Still, that's a pretty bad fall. Few survive, even the idiots who do it intentionally off a barrel. Who'd think of running a barrel off the Niagara falls? Have you seen those falls? You can just imagine that conversation. A few young guys at home, after a few beers, one of them says, "hey, I can bungee jump with the chord tied to one toe." The other says, "hey, I can bungee jump with a the chord tied to one toe off the propeller of a twin engine plane that's ten thousand feet in the air." The third guy says, "well, I can bungee jump off a barrel over the Niagara falls!" They look at each other as though this guy's crazy. "That isn't even bungee jumping," one of them says. "Well, the thing about one toe, c'mon man, your toe would break off. You'd smash into the ground and flatten out like roadkill." "Yeah?" the guy responds, and soon it turns into a bet. Start small, from a barrel roll off the Niagara. But you have to find a barrel first.

Can you see how easy that is. Why was this woman on the ledge? What kind of stupidity is that? They interviewed someone who said that they've also done it, just to get a picture. One of the parks employees said something about eleven million visitors a year. That number sounds really high, but that's not the point. They should build a higher barrier, but then you wouldn't be able to get a good view of the falls.

Use a huge barrel. A really big barrel and have a state of the art interior where you don't feel a thing when you're inside. Have the NASA people build it. Yes, the supermatic barrel. The park people could use it as an attraction. Barrel rolls, just like they have that boat, the lady of the mist that takes visitors close to the falls.

You could be back in your room, remembering when you were a student, in a roach infested apartment. The super roaches, feared no-one, expected to be treated equally like full tenants. You couldn't kill them. Nothing killed these things, the poison only made them stronger. Your only hope was to shrink yourself to their size and combat them, mano a mano. The war would be bloody, but eventually, you come out victorious, and find that you can't resize yourself back to human size. Someone else moves into the apartment and tries to kill you. Now you see how the roaches feel. You won't get your degree, but that doesn't matter right now. You have to save yourself because the friggin' tenant has gone out to buy bug spray. You organise the bugs, it's a life and death situation.

That pie eating contest that you joined. You have to consume fifteen pork pies in less than fifteen minutes. You used to be champ, but you're in your thirties now. Fifteen beers, no problem, but fifteen pies, this will take a miracle. You pray an god sends an angel to grant you your pie eating wish. You wish for victory and you're told that this would come at a price. Anything, you say. The price is that you will have to continue consuming at that rate for the next fifteen years. After you're champ, you don't think it will be a problem but your hunger is dangerous and soon enough, people start looking good enough to eat. They send you to prison not knowing that this is the worst thing that they could have done.

You can't write any more. Your hands tired. All this writing practice has made your fingers numb. You remember the monks who used to copy sections, or entire, books in the fifteenth century. They didn't have printing presses. The books are due back the next day so you have to work by candlelight to copy everything. Your hand is swollen, it's huge. Fingers all gnarled and they expect you to decorate the letters. You're using a quill and patiently dipping it into sepia ink. The fat librarian is watching from the desk at the front of the room. You don't like his look, he's not writing, just eating cheese and cucumber sandwiches. You loath him, hate his fat look and his clean smug smile. You'd like to poke him in the eye with your quill, use it like a dart. Yes, the distance looks doable... perhaps

You live in a one-room apartment but you've bought this IMAX television. They're going to have to knock out doors to get it in the room and you'll probably have to watch it from the ceiling since it will have to go on the ground. You don't know why you bought it but the move Jaws looks awfully interesting when you're on top of it.

You've seen pictures of angels, why do they have wings on their backs? Who's idea was it to give angels wings, like chickens, or pigeons (since chickens don't officially fly). It seems that a more biologically suited way to fly was to open your mouth real wide, revealing gills that came out from your belly. You'd be able to take in air, at a really fast rate, into your body, propelling you forward. By adjusting your belly gills, you could reduce the pressure below you and hence lift off. Simple physics. Genetics could make your tongue act as a propeller. Oh, this is better, perhaps, by eating special foods you are able to release dense gasses from your posterior. These gasses, being dense, would allow you to use them, much as a fish uses water, to propel yourself forward.

You hate grocery shopping, so you enter the store, stand at one corner and mentally visualise the things you want to buy. They come off the shelves, moving down the aisles and neatly place themselves into the basket. The basket wheels itself over to the cash where a ray passes over them so that the cashier doesn't have to pick them out  and scan them one at a time. After the scanning is over, the trolley rolls itself out and takes off into the air. You'll both meet up at home later, you have a game and movie to attend.

Dream, it doesn't have to be real, and the more it detracts from the real, the more fun it is to continue. Starting with the a basic idea, you stretch it and milk it for all its worth. The pen that moves itself over the paper and writes your novel for you while you eat pork rinds, drink Dr. Pepper and watch Die Hard 10.

Sometimes you think this stuff up, it's in your head, you can imagine it that's easy. But for some reason, monkey brain, your ever ready censor is there to tell you to watch out what you write. Hey, monkey brain screams, that doesn't make sense, I mean, c'mon, what an idiot you are. And your job is to ignore the sounds and continue on.

Much like I've done for this segment. Unusual circumstances and exaggeration, all good tools to keep the hand moving. This is natural. This is what happens in your head. This should feel good.

Finding your voice: Part 4 of 10

In the first three sections, parts, we've discussed the voice in the head and how to make use of that dialogue to keep the pen on the paper, or the fingers on the keyboard. Keep moving because there's no silence in your train of thought and so the words coming off your hand shouldn't be edited.

We've also seen how the written word is often edited because it exposes us to the world. The thoughts in our head can't get us fired. We can think what we want and nobody, not even the police or the best judge, can really know what's there. But when we write it, we commit it to the world. We expose ourselves and say, hey! Here's what I think about you and your show, and we stand the risk of a million "boos" coming back our way. We need to be able to write without fear.

We've touched a bit on the procrastination theme, how other things surrounding you seem so much more fun to do but that if you time yourself, give yourself that five minutes to write down anything, or that half a page, then it's easier to get going. Once you start, it's normally easy to get going until, of course, you run into a wall, a blank. Your character's dead. They've been sitting there idly doing nothing but contemplating and they need some action to get the blood moving. That's the time you let that beast out of your head and let them patrol the grounds. Don't be afraid to just say what's wrong with the picture, you can always edit it out later.

And so now we reach the next part of keeping yourself motivated and going. In his memory building book, and course, Dr. Bruno First describes various techniques for building a strong memory. One of them is placing unusual situations, or unusual objects next to each other. For example, say you have to go to the grocery store and buy some milk, you know that you'll forget it when you get there, so you close your eyes and picture the grocery store, but it's damaged. There's a huge milk leak and volumes of milk, like the Niagara falls, are pouring out of the front doors of the grocery store in tidal waves. People are drowning and the parking lot's a debris of washed up cars smashed against each other from the torrential milk storm coming out of the store. You can hear the screaming of anguished people and the sirens of approaching fire engines. The trick is that when you approach the grocery store, the image of the store will conjure up the disaster you saw so clearly in your mind. You'll be able to conjure up the image since it was so graphic. And so unusual. Don't imagine yourself walking up to the cash to pay for the milk. Imagine yourself lugging a huge carton of milk, about six times your size, on your back, grunting and groaning, all the way to the cash and you slip as you're about to put it on the cashier's conveyor, where it wouldn't have fit anyway, and you fall down the milk carton crushing you under it. That's how graphic it has to be.

But it doesn't have to be all about pain. That was fun for me to write since I like to put together stuff like that, but you need to take the familiar and put it adjacent the unfamiliar. When you see the familiar, it will evoke the unfamiliar and your memory will be that much better.

How do we use this in our writing. Well, you're moving along and things are going honkey dorey.  Your character isn't setting up the scene very well. They're kinda boring, lethargic and you need to inject them with something. Well, here's where you break into the scene and fast forward them into the future, or the past. Yes, the past is always interesting, all kinds of things lurking in the dark. And you do something that I've repeatedly asked you not to do. You pause, for an instant as you put this character in an unusual situation. The inquisition perhaps. The Indianapolis 500 perhaps. In the middle of an airline descent, on one engine. Running for their life, being chased by a werewolf that was her brother. You get the picture. All of a sudden, your character has to save themselves. Yes, it's a way to continue to go on to keep trucking on. Your image doesn't have to veer completely off track. You might be stuck because you were going too deeply into the financial problems that brought your character to their despicable state. They were screwed royally by their accountant and you're relating tax issues that got the mortgage payment re-assessed. They were destitute on the verge of being kicked out of their home. You're putting your reader to sleep and boom, all of a sudden, your character is stalking the accountant. You've got them pinned and are asking them a dozen questions in the basement of a building a mile under the ground. Nobody's going to hear them scream. Not a soul. Your sharp instruments are prepared but you're not quite ready. You're now a hacker and you need to see if you can reduce this snivelling worm to dust, like he's done with your life. You don't want to overplay this since we're only looking for breath so that we can continue. Later, we'll come back to edit out the parts we don't need.

Unusual circumstances are great for the writing practises. You can combine anything you want and it will work because your mind works that way. You look at the keyboard and you feel the letters, and see the words. The constant backspacing irritates you if you're a good typist. You tell yourself that perhaps it's the keyboard's fault. You continue to analyse your feelings and then you burst into another thought. What would happen, just think about this for a minute, what would happen if you didn't have to use your hands to write. If your thoughts could display themselves on paper. Would it be the same thing or is there a craft, a sense of work ethic, if you are using your hands to craft something. Like a painting that appears because you close your eyes and see it. Is it better, different than one that slowly is formed by painstakingly dipping a brush into paint and placing strokes on the paper?

Even in this article, there's been a fair amount of play, jumping from one thought to the next, not structured or formed. Something that would make an English literature teacher scream and run for their gun, or rope. But this type of censorship doesn't happen in your head and this is what finding your voice is all about. It's about not judging what you're writing, not censoring immediately, till you've had a chance to put it aside and read it later. You're mind is a wandering vessel always doing things you don't want it to do and that's what you want to capture. If you stop and think and try to arrange things in your mind, then it will feel fake and stifled.